#and that whole ''keep a cup of water next to your bed to rinse it in'' thing doesn't work well with our contamination OCD

[thethingything]

so we use these little packs of disposable travel toothbrushes that we can keep next to our bed and don't have to rinse after using them or anything because between executive dysfunction, sensory issues, and fatigue, this is basically the only way we can keep up with brushing our teeth regularly.

anyway, I realised we'd almost ran out and went to buy more and they suddenly aren't available anywhere. we'd get a pack of 24 for relatively cheap and now all I can seem to find are packs of 1 or 2 "travel toothbrushes" that are basically just normal toothbrushes for the same price as a pack of the ones we normally get. the brand that made them has nothing about them on its website besides a pack of 2 toothbrushes listed under the same name that aren't the same product.

so anyway now I need to figure out an alternative for the sake of actually being able to manage our dental hygiene because the one thing that was letting us do that somewhat adequately isn't available anymore

[writerslittlelibrary]

I'm your mother now, chapter 6

masterlist series masterlist

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8

summary: maybe that talk Natasha had with Yelena truly changed things…

pairing: Dark!Natasha x teen reader, 

warnings: yelling, a lot of swearing, dark themes, kinda evil Natasha, translated Russian

genre: angst, 

words: 2044

a/n: hello lovelies, I wanted to thank you all for your love and support, I'm feeling much better, and so, as promised, here is chapter 6, finally… 

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

“She's a kid, Natasha!”

“Don't you think I know that?!”

“So let her be one! She will never love you if you keep her locked up in this house! She deserves to be a kid. If you help her be one, she will love you, Natasha.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

You sat on top of the stairs, carefully listening to the conversation Natasha and Yelena were having. You were in your pajamas, so you figured Natasha changed your clothes when you came home yesterday. 

When you heard the arguing die down, you stood up, taking a few steps away from the stairs when you heard footsteps come closer. 

You heard Natasha and Yelena talking, normally now, while they walked to the front door. They didn't see you, but you were almost certain Natasha knew you were standing there.

She always knew…

Once the door closed, you quickly ran back to your room, climbing back into your bed and hugging your stuffed animals, pretending to be asleep. 

You heard Natasha's footsteps come up the stairs, and your breath caught in your throat as you realized Yelena must've left. Natasha walked into your room and sat down next to you, softly caressing your face and wiping the stray hairs from it.

“Good morning, malysh,” she said quietly as she leaned forward, giving you a kiss on your forehead. “Auntie Yelena left, so we have the whole week for ourselves,” she said excitedly, missing the way your muscles tensed at the thought. You opened your eyes, turning to look at her as she smiled down at you.

“Let��s go brush your teeth,” she said as she stood up, looking down at you as she waited for you to get up.

“Come on, malysh, I know you've been awake for a while. It's time to start the day now,” she said as you finally sat up, pushing the blanket aside and walking towards the bathroom, Natasha following closely behind.

“I think it's time to wash your hair today as well, don't you, detka?” 

Natasha moved towards the bathtub, starting the water and pouring some bubbles in. You ignored her, instead focusing on just brushing your teeth. 

After about a minute, Natasha moved to stand behind you, smiling at you through the mirror as she held up her hand. You reluctantly handed her the toothbrush, turning around and opening your mouth when Natasha moved to cup your jaw. 

She softly brushed your teeth, tapping your nose when she was done. 

She rinsed the toothbrush, putting it away and walking back into your room, probably to get some clothes. “Go and get in the tub already, sweetheart, I'll be right back,” she said as she disappeared from sight. 

You sighed and took off your pajamas, stepping in the tub and allowing your head to dunk under, the water completely consuming you. 

You gasped when you felt Natasha pull you up again, looking at you with a stern expression on her face. “Don't do something so dangerous without mama in the room,” she scolded as she let you go, sitting on the stool that stood next to the bathtub. 

You didn't say anything as Natasha washed your hair, simply enjoying the way her hands felt massaging your head. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting downstairs, waiting for Natasha to return with what she said would be a fun activity. After the bath she took you to the kitchen, making you a healthy breakfast. After, she told you you two were going to be spending a nice mama-daughter day, and she told you to stay put as she went to get something.

You sat patiently waiting on the bar stool, fiddling with your bunny you got yesterday while you waited. You liked Yelena, and you were sad she had already left so soon.

After a few more minutes, Natasha returned, her hands full of boxes which appeared to be board games. She put them down with a smile, moving to sit down as she pulled the box from the top. “I know you haven't played a lot of board games in your life, but I promise you I will teach you everything you have to know. Auntie Yelena is quite fond of board games, so when she comes over next time you can absolutely destroy her,” she said as she smiled, opening the box and pulling out the contents. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha had beaten you in almost every game by the end of the day, but even so, you found yourself enjoying Natasha's company. You liked playing the games with her, even if you did end up losing. 

After Natasha had put away all the games again, she came back with her keys in her hand. “I was thinking of getting some ice-cream?” she questioned as she looked at you, and you nodded with a smile on your face. You quickly put on your shoes, grabbing your coat and waiting by the door.

Natasha joined you soon enough, already wearing her own coat.

She opened the door, leading you towards her car and driving off. The car ride was mainly silent, the chatter on the radio softly playing in the background.

After a while, Natasha pulled up at the same place Yelena had done, getting out of the car and opening your door before you could. You got out, following Natasha as she led you to an ice-cream shop. After you both had gotten your ice-cream, you walked outside again, going to sit on a bench, when you suddenly heard yelling behind you. 

Before you could turn around, you felt Natasha's hand slip from your grasp as she was tackled to the ground. 

A police officer held her down as another one walked towards you, you took a step back, dropping the ice-cream as you stared at the officer in fear. 

She put her hands up, trying to make it seem like she wasn't a threat to you. 

Natasha was still struggling on the ground, trying to get the officer, who now had gotten help, off of her. You were visibly shaking, terrified and confused as to whatever was going on. Natasha was yelling, and you knew that if she wanted to she could easily take all the officers down, but for some reason she wasn't.

The female officer was still trying to approach, attempting to come closer as you just took another step back. Your eyes were filled with fear, and it didn't take long before tears started rolling down your cheeks as well. 

The officer was speaking to you, or at least you thought as you saw her mouth move, yet you didn't hear a single sound. 

The sirens fell deaf on your ears as more police arrived. Natasha was getting handcuffed, but she was still yelling. She was trying to get to you, yet you just stood there. It didn't take long before Natasha was injected with something in her neck, a few officers dragging her towards a car as the female officer was still standing in front of you.

“It is okay,” she spoke with a strong Russian accent. “We will help you get home,” she added as she took a few steps closer, carefully laying a hand on your back and leading you towards another car. 

The rest was all a blur to you. The officers that had taken Natasha were nowhere to be seen, and until now you had only seen the female officer that took you here. You were locked in what you could only guess was some sort of interrogation room. You had already tried the door, but it was locked and you were stuck sitting in the chair, staring at the huge mirror in front of you. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you think she bought it?” Natasha questioned as she stood there, watching you with her arms crossed, studying your terrified form and expression. 

“I think she more than bought it, Natalia. She is absolutely terrified,” a woman next to her said, going through some papers on a clipboard. Natasha anxiously bit her lip. It wasn't often she got nervous, but seeing her little girl all terrified, scared the shit out of her. 

The woman next to her noticed, and pulled her gaze from the clipboard as she put her hand on Natasha's arm. “She will do well, Natalia. I can feel it,” the woman said as she gave Natasha a small smile, turning around and heading for the door.

-------------------------------------------------------------

After sitting in the room for a few minutes, staring at the mirror, a woman entered the room. It was the same officer that had taken you there, and she smiled kindly as she placed her clipboard down, sitting down across from you. 

“Hello y/n. My name is Anya, and I'm here to help you. I understand you must be very frightened right now, but I will do my best to help you, and I can assure you that everything will be okay,” she said in her Russian accent, before reaching towards her clipboard and taking an item from the top of it.

“We found this phone on your kidnapper, and as it was a second phone, we were wondering if maybe it was yours?” the woman asked as she placed the phone down in front of you.

You had never seen the phone before. It was old and even had a keyboard on it. However, before you shook your head, you thought about why Natasha might carry it with her. Maybe she knew she would get caught some day. Maybe she knew they would give you the phone purely because she carried two.

Before you could stop yourself, you nodded your head, reaching towards the phone. Anya smiled, moving to stand up. “I'm glad. I will leave you here so you can call someone you trust. Maybe your parents,” Anya suggested as she gave you another smile, moving to get out of the room.

After you checked she was really gone, you turned the phone on. There was a picture of you in the background, and you frowned as soon as the phone asked for a passcode. 

You thought for a second, before realizing Natasha wasn't stupid and trying the passcode you used for your ipad. It worked, and now you were certain Natasha had meant for this phone to come to you were she ever to get caught.

You opened the phone book, only finding one contact in there. 

You considered ignoring it, using this opportunity to call you foster parents and go home, but was that really what you still wanted. You didn't know anymore, and before you knew it, you had typed in the number of your foster mother.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha stood anxiously behind the window, ready to interfere at the moment you would actually call your foster mother, but Anya placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, telling her to trust you. 

They watched as you hesitated, looking at the phone conflicted. 

You were almost going to press the call button, before you made up your mind and switched back to the phone book. You called the only number there, trusting that Natasha would've put it there with a reason. 

As you heard the line ring for a bit, you bit your lip, your leg bouncing up and down as you brought your hand up to your mouth, biting your nails. 

Soon enough, someone picked up, and it didn't take long before you realized it was Yelena. “Hello? Natasha? Why are you calling me from this old number?” she questioned. You took a deep breath before responding.

“Yelena?...” you asked quietly, and you heard Yelena immediately sit up straighter, seemingly focused on the call now. 

“Malen’kiy pauk?” (little spider) you heard Yelena ask confused. “What is wrong?” 

The moment you heard Yelena's voice, you broke down, sobbing as you tried to explain what happened. 

“I don't know what's going on,” you sobbed out. “Natasha is caught I think and I don't know what to do,” you cried, completely unaware of the smirk Yelena carried on the other side of the line. “It is okay, malysh, I will come fix it,” Yelena said before she hung up.

You placed the phone down on the table again, crying softly as you tried to wipe your tears. Natasha smiled. You loved her now…

Chapter 7

tag list: @carol-romanoff @natsxwife @simp-erformarvelwomen @clintsbigtoe @olsenmyolsen @leenasayeed @naslt @dvrkhcld @daddyshuri @wandanatsbaby @alphalesbianwolffoxdragontribrid @cherlenovix @mrsromanovaa @wandanatsgirl @screechcat @a-spes

[darth-mortem]

The next GhostSoap fic!

It is night time and Soap is at his desk completing his mission report and Ghost is resting on Soap’s bed watching him write. 1987 words.

The snowfall started after breakfast, and when TF 141 returned to the base after a long mission, everything around was already covered in a thick white and cold blanket. It was strange and unusual for the soldiers to see this because they had spent almost a month in the desert of the Middle East fighting the terrorist threat. After disembarking from the helicopter, they hurried to their residential block, but no matter how fast they walked, they still managed to get very cold in their desert gear. All four members of TF 141 were badly affected by the sudden weather change, so Captain Price arranged their dinner to be brought to their break room and then ordered them to rest. However, one of them still had a task: to write a mission report. Normally it was done by the commander of TF 141, but this time all the paperwork fell onto Sergeant MacTavish’s shoulders.

“You have every chance to become the captain and the second commander of our unit, son.” Price said, putting his hand on Soap’s shoulder. “So you’d better start learning the ins and outs right now. You’ll write a report, and then I’ll check it and correct your mistakes. But first, you rest. This is an order.”

“Aye, sir!” MacTavish answered.

You can keep reading on Ao3 or here

Johnny went to sleep and only woke up when Ghost brought him dinner, coffee, and report forms. Yawning, Soap slid off the bed and went to the sink in the corner of his room, trying to wake himself up with the cold water.

“Did ye sleep, Lt.?” Soap asked, turning on the big and cozy hoodie with ‘Lieutenant Riley’ on the back.

“No,” he answered, “I cleaned my weapon and organized my gear. Then Gaz got sick because of acclimatization, so Price and I took him to the medical center.”

“Och, poor thing. He never tolerated it well.” MacTavish shook his head and looked at the lieutenant. “Sae ye tired ‘n’ won’t stay?”

Ghost looked thoughtfully out the window. It had already gotten dark outside, and the base command had ordered to temporarily stopped fighting the snow. The blizzard only intensified in the evening, and all personnel were advised to limit their movement around the base. In the light of the lanterns, only reinforced patrols could be seen, which, from time to time, passed along established routes. The icy wind howled and moaned, hurling spiky snowflakes into the window glass. On such cold and scary nights, all Simon’s demons returned to torment him with nightmares again, after which it was very difficult to wake up and comprehend reality.

“Nah,” Riley finally said, “I’ll stay. Will take a nap here at your place while you write the report.”

“What if I need help?” Johnny asked, sitting down at the table and pouncing on the food and coffee Ghost had brought.

“You can ask everything you need.” Simon said, shivered, and moved away from the window.

He wasn’t feeling well either. His temples felt tight, his whole body was shackled by an unpleasant weakness, and he couldn’t warm up in any way, although objectively, the temperature in the residential block was quite comfortable.

Soap finished eaten, rinsed the plates and cup, washed his hands, and returned to the table. Meanwhile, Ghost took off his hoodie and boots, turned off the nightlight, and lay down in Johnny’s bed, wrapped in his blanket. He watched how the sergeant frowned in concentration and bit the tip of his pen; how he placed a blank form in front of him and, checking the sample, started to fill out the title page. Simon smiled sleepily as he saw the tip of Johnny’s tongue stick out from the strain, and then his eyelids drooped and he dozed off.

The lights out signal rang through the base, but due to the howling wind, Johnny didn’t hear it. He attentively described the preparations for the mission, as the building gradually grew quiet. In the neighboring rooms, the conversations and music stopped; the footsteps in the corridor disappeared. Soap realized that all he could hear now was the wind outside and Ghost’s calm breathing. Looking at Simon tenderly, MacTavish leaned back on his chair and started to recall details of the mission as well as consider how to better present them in the report.

…Soap slowly made his way past the enemy patrol, ducking and hiding behind crates. He was supposed to plant the bombs at this base while the others went about their tasks. Ghost had to neutralize the security; Gaz had to obtain documents confirming the connection of one official with this terrorist group. Price took up a sniper position on the cliff and was ready to provide fire support if it was needed.

There were gasps and soft sounds of bodies falling on the sand behind the sergeant. He understood that Ghost had started his work and smiled.

“Bravo 7-1, don’t slow down.” Soap heard Price’s voice in the earpiece of his radio, shook his head, and started to move on…

The sergeant briefly described how he had started planting the bombs, how Garrick had gotten into the terrorist command center, and how Riley had neutralized all the outside security without firing a single shot. At this stage, the captain only watched because everything was going according to plan. This was not surprising: TF 141 had been monitoring the base for a long time before infiltrating. But no matter how good the preparation is, it’s still not possible to take everything into account.

…“It’s Bravo 2–6.” Everyone heard Garrik’s quiet voice on their radios. “I can't get out.”

“Copy that.” Ghost answered. “Did you find your target?”

“Aye,” Gaz answered. “But the enemies blocked the exit point.”

Garrick got into the command center through the window on the second floor. There was no one in this building at night under normal circumstances, so he quickly found the documents he needed and was about to leave the same way he had come in. But today several terrorists, who were supposed to sleep in their barracks, decided to go out to smoke and chose a place under the window through which Gas was planning to get outside.

“Bravo 0-6, can you destroy them?” Kyle asked, hiding in the room.

“Negative,” Price answered. “There are four of them; I won’t have time to do it without them making a fuss.”

“Whatever ye decide, dae it quickly.” Johnny intervened. “I’ve already planted a’ bombs ‘n’ turned oan the timer; we have thirteen minutes.”

It was decided that Riley and Price would try to destroy the smokers together, and after that Ghost and Gaz would go to the exit point of the enemy base, where Soap will be waiting for them. The lieutenant used his throwing knives, and the captain used a sniper rifle, and everything would have been fine if one of the terrorists, dying, had not pulled out a safety pin from a grenade. Apparently, he saw Ghost and wanted to throw it at him, but he didn’t have time to do it.

“Fucking hell,” Simon said before the grenade exploded, the searchlights on the base turned on, and the siren wailed…

MacTavish angrily crumpled the half-written sheet of paper, threw it into the bin, exhaled noisily, and rubbed his tired eyes. All of this woke up Ghost; he stirred and looked sleepily at Soap.

“Och, sorry, m'eudail.” The sergeant got up, walked over to the bed, and sat on the edge of it. “I didn’t want tae wake ye up.”

“Nevermind.” Simon took Johnny’s hand, raised it to his lips, and kissed it through the fabric of his skull balaclava. “Better tell me, how is your progress?”

“I was just thinking about how better tae describe what happened efter that glaikit moron detonated a fuckin’ grenade.” MacTavish sighed heavily, and they both started to recall how everything went.

…Ghost and Gaz ran across the base in chaos. A siren was wailing; terrorists were running here and there, brandishing Kalashnikovs; the beams of searchlights were darting in different directions, looking for culprit. However, no one paid attention to the culprit themselves because Lieutenant Riley ordered to remove the outer clothing from the killed terrorists, who were the least affected by the explosion, and put it on themselves. Also, two members of TF 141 covered their faces with keffiyehs and grabbed enemy weapons to blend in with their surroundings.

Meanwhile, Soap tried to slip quietly to the exit point. It was closer to him, and he almost succeeded, but he saw that several enemies had noticed the cut mesh of the fence and were talking briskly about something, standing right next to the hole Riley made for the entrance and exit. It was bad because Ghost and Gas could appear at any moment, and the time before the explosion was getting shorter and shorter.

“Bravo 0-6, how copy?” MacTavish pressed his back against the wall, hiding from the beam of searchlight.

“Solid.” Price answered. “Do you want me to destroy them?”

“Negative.” Soap said. “I have an idea. Cover me.”

“Rog.” The captain made sure that the others had everything under control and turned his attention to MacTavish.

Soap’s plan was simple. He wanted to move a little further and toss a grenade into the pile of crates where provisions were probably kept. A few hours ago, they were loaded from the truck, and maybe they haven’t yet had time to transfer them to the warehouse. The explosion will attract the enemy’s attention, and then all three members of TF 141 can leave the base and move to a safe distance before MacTavish’s bombs go off.

Unfortunately, Johnny didn’t know that the crates didn’t contain food, but ammo and grenades. The explosion caused this all to detonate, and flames rose into the night sky. 7,62 bullets started to fly in all directions, hitting the sand and the walls of buildings, puncturing the sides and tires of cars, and people's bodies. Soap managed to fall and roll into a cover, but his ears were ringing disgustingly, and he didn’t immediately hear the lieutenant’s voice in his radio.

“Bravo 7-1, how copy? Soap, do you copy? What the fuck was it?”

“Ghost…” MacTavish rasped. “Are ye close yet?”

“Affirmative,” Riley answered. “You?”

Soap raised his head and saw Ghost and Gaz behind the exit point. He jumped to his feet and, overcoming the ringing in his ears and nausea, ran to them…

“I didn’t know that there was bloody ammo in those crates.” Johnny said, lowering his head guiltily. “How should I describe this fuckin’ hell in th’ report?”

Simon yawned, sat up on the bed, and rubbed his sleepy eyes through the opening of his balaclava.

“Okay, Johnny, sit down and write after me.” The lieutenant said and started to dictate. “During the retreat from the enemy’s base, an extraordinary situation arose, which was solved with the help of the unconventional thinking and ingenuity of the members of TF 141.”

“Yeah, and?” Soap got up his eyes and looked at Ghost.

“That’s all.” The lieutenant shrugged, smiling under his balaclava. “Unless you add that the goal of the mission had been achieved, and everything that belongs there according to the statute.”

Johnny froze, starring at Simon.

“Well, what’re you looking at? Do you think Price is reporting on all the sick, bloody shit we’re doing?” Ghost asked, raising his eyebrow. “The main thing is that the mission is accomplished successfully, and the details... you can let them go.”

“Rog!” Soap said and smiled cheerfully. “Thank ye, Si.”

“You're welcome, Johnny,” Simon yawned again and crawled under the blanket. Soon, Soap finished writing and turned off the lamp. In the darkness of the room, he went to the bed, undressed, and lay down under the blanket in the cozy warmth. Simon, without waking up, hugged him; Johnny smiled, closing his eyes, and quickly fell asleep.

[watercolor-hearts]

I was thinking about talking a bit about how Alex and Logan would comfort George after his Belgian GP disqualification in the Logan/George/Alex universe. Now, a few days later I’m finally here with how I imagine it.

@mrs-saturday, you asked me to tag you in the post. ❤ I don’t know if you’re familiar with this universe, but if not and you want to know more about it, you can read all the other posts after clicking on the link above. (Towards the bottom in the tag there’s a long post explaining/introducing the whole universe.)

When George arrives back in the hotel room, no matter how hard he tries to hide his disappointment and sadness, Alex sees through it, and the first thing he does is wrap his arms around him and hug him tightly. George’s legs almost give out as his body gets pressed to Alex’s and his arms curl around him in an oh-so-familiar way. He’s safe. He’s home.

In the bathroom, they undress and then Alex quickly sets the water temperature. Once he’s done, George joins him.

“How about a shower?” Alex asks after a few moments of silent hugging. “Logan will arrive soon but until then I thought I’d help you get rid of some of these bad thoughts and feelings with some ocean-scented shower gel to remind you of the summer break that’s starting tomorrow. And I can wash your hair and massage your scalp the way you love it.”

George doesn’t need more. “That massage would be nice,” he says, resting his head on Alex’s shoulder, “And the shower, too.”

“Then come with me,” Alex smiles softly and guides George to the bathroom.

It’s not a sexy showering together but it wasn’t the plan so Alex doesn’t mind it. It’s basically him helping George to shower, scrubbing his back, and then washing his hair. George doesn’t speak, he uses most of his energy to stop himself from crying.

He wishes he was stronger and wouldn’t cry as much as he does but he hasn’t yet managed to learn how to control it. 

Alex sometimes talks to him while shampooing his hair or rinsing it but George only gives one-word replies. He has no energy to talk, he just wants to lie down and forget the bad part of this day. But he’s incredibly glad Alex is there for him and knows how to deal with him.

The next thing George remembers is sitting on Alex’s lap, face buried into his shoulder, and hearing Logan’s voice after he arrives. It’s just a small ‘hi’ like he thinks George is asleep and doesn’t want to wake him up. But then George feels a warm touch between his shoulder blades and he melts into Alex even more. He now has both of his boys with him.

Logan knows that one of George’s self-soothing mechanisms is putting his hand on his stomach, so he keeps gently rubbing it, hoping it’ll help him. He knows George is struggling because he focuses on breathing into his stomach, and Logan knows this is a sign of trying to calm himself or trying to hold back an emotional reaction. He sends a look to Alex and Alex gets it immediately.

“Georgie,” Alex whispers, “I’m gonna lay you down on the bed so Logan and I can cuddle you, alright?”

“Mhm,” is the only thing George can say, and in the next moment he’s lying between two of the most important people in his life right now, eyes closed, Alex massaging his scalp and Logan rubbing his stomach. They care about him so much it makes George feel like he’s going to cry. 

It’s the sentence that brings out everything.

“You don’t have to hold it back,” he says, cupping George’s face and caressing his cheek with his thumb. “If you need to cry, you can. Let it all out, we’re here for you. You fought for that win, it’s understandable that you’re upset after they took it away from you.”

But what makes George finally let those tears out is when Logan says “You’re the winner for us. And you’ll always be.”

All the pain and all the tears.

But after that, it’s better.

Because he’s not alone.

[saintship]

I’m not really sure how to do requests because I always get nervous but headcanons for COD characters helping reader on their period? 🙏

You’re totally good, thank you for writing me!

I love this request as well—I’m going to keep it sfw because the other side of this topic is a whole other post in itself!

Soap 🧼

- Very attentive

- “You alright?” “What do you need?” “Anything at all?” “Just holler, ya hear?”

- Bath guy for SURE

- Runs one with a gentle body wash for the bubbles after you inform him ‘REAL soap down there will give me a UTI.’

- ‘Ironic, aye?”

- ‘You’re an animal.’

- Back rub connoisseur

- If you bleed on anything of his, he makes sure you know he will never be angry at you for something you can’t help

- Might need some directing on how to properly wash the sheets though

- If you need to be held he’s there, sweetheart’s cradle is his go to bc it lets him massage the sore muscles of your stomach

-And wrap both arms around you so you can rest the side of your head on his bicep AUGH

- Love him sm

Ghost 🔦

- In my mind this could go two ways

- 1. Clueless/doesn’t know how to ask the questions he has, though willing to learn

- 2. So comfortable with it it’s almost medical—he’s a soldier, he’s not going to let a human function throw him off

- 1. Is more likely to be reality but for this I’ll indulge

- In a relationship I get the vibe he hesitates before performing any act of affection, as if he’s afraid someone will ambush him the moment he closes his eyes

- But if you’re in pain and you reach for him it is 0 hesitation, he’s immediately behind you wrapping an arm around your middle to hold you close and say sweet things into your hair

- Any embarrassment by bleeding on sheets, his clothes you borrowed, etc is shut down

- ‘A period ain’t what’s gonna kill me after all these years, love. It’s natural.’

- Strikes me as more of a sit next to the bath rather than with you in the water the way Soap might

- Likes to wash your back and hair, rinse the suds off, wrap you in a towel, and so on

Gaz 🧢

- Absolute sweetheart

- But so stupid

- Flabbergasted when you explain how tampons are really used (he had no fucking clue), and if you have a diva cup, you might as well have just shown him theoretical physics

- ‘So, do you need—chocolate? Or anything?’

‘Just stay here?’

‘That sounds good.’

- Rubs your shoulders and neck while pressing kisses to the skin exposed

- If you bleed on something he needs a minute to Google a few things but then reassures you, already in the process of replacing the sheets so you can get back in bed as soon as possible

- Loverboy <333

Price 🪙

- By far the most experienced; you hardly need to teach him anything as the other women in his life have already taught him a lot

- ‘Darling, I’m a grown man. You don’t need to feel ashamed for anything, it’s your body.”

‘I just-'

‘Ah- none of that. C’mere.”

- Bear hugs and that type of cuddling where you face each other

- Rubs your back until you fall asleep, humming something I think

- Yes he hums tunes

- Runs you a bath with a glass of wine and sits with you, one hand massaging the shoulder closest to him

- If you bleed on anything of his, it’s not a big deal whatsoever

- Makes a place for you on the couch while he does the laundry

- Soothes any remarks from you with a slow kiss that he knows will have you unable to speak for a few moments

Alejandro 🥀

- Smooth man

- Also experienced, almost confused if you’re embarrassed

- ‘What’s wrong? There is nothing to be ashamed of, mi vida.’

- Sings softly to you while he holds you

- ‘No Hay Novedad’ :,,,)

- Or just the tune of a song he enjoyed as a child

- Sits in the bath with you, whispering vulgar sweet things into your ear when you rest your head by his neck

- Kisses to the back of your neck

- Reassurance comes first if you’re embarrassed after bleeding on something, doesn’t want to rush to get rid of it

- ‘This is your body—my second home. How could I be angry at that?’

- Shirtless, sleepy Alejandro reassuring you

- I need a minute

König ⛰️

- Periods are quite a taboo subject in Austria/Germany, as it is in most of the world, but I feel like he never understood the stigma

- He tells you about his classmates who he knew were deeply ashamed of their periods, in an effort to make you feel less alone

- So gentle

- Massages, kisses, caressing your cheeks or waist, he’s like an ocean wave

- Has you sit with your back to him in the tub while he sits on the floor, letting his hands wander and muttering how beautiful you are in German

- Lets you ‘human blanket’ him, sprawled across his massive form

- Admits he likes the pressure

- Wraps strong arms around you and holds, grounding you to him

- If you bleed on his sheets and you’re embarrassed/frustrated, he makes a point to leave the bloody sheets until morning, holding your face in his hands while he assures you it’s okay

Graves 🪖

- Ok

- We all know how this would go in canon

- BUT THIS AINT CANON

- For real though, if he was taught REAL southern values, he’d know how to act

- Physically soothing, running his thumbs over your cheekbones or his hands over your sides, a squeeze to your knee, watching you relax under his hands

- Practically never leaves your side if you let him, you being in his eyeline is reassuring

- Flowers. Totally gets you fucking flowers dear god

- Similar to Alejandro if you bleed on his sheets

- ‘Honey, you got nothin’ to be embarrassed about. I know you can’t control it.”

- Runs his fingers through your hair while you rest your head on his chest and hold his middle

- Will get in the bath with you if you ask, holding you with your back to his chest and kissing at the skin of your neck

- Gets a glass of wine for you and a beer for him

- Won’t object to a bath make out session

- All the southern drawl

- Breaks his heart to see you cry even if you assure him it’s your hormones kicking your ass

- Can’t stand to see your teary face so he holds you to his chest

- ‘I’m here, babydoll, I’m here..’

‘It’s stupid..’

‘Not to me.’

This was a lot of fun :>

[thevegans]

Madras curried vegetables with brown rice.

How to Make Madras Curry Vegetables with Brown Rice.

Introduction

Curry is a popular dish all around the world. Its origins can be traced back to the Indian subcontinent, where it is a staple food in many households. There are many varieties of curry, each with its unique blend of spices and ingredients. Madras curry is a spicy and flavorful dish that originates from the southern part of India. In this recipe, we will show you how to make Madras curry vegetables using green bell pepper, red onion, red bell pepper, sweetcorn, peas, and green beans with brown rice.

Cooking a curry from scratch can seem intimidating, but it is actually quite easy. With a few simple steps, you can create a delicious and healthy meal that your whole family will love. This recipe is perfect for those who are looking for a vegetarian or vegan option that is both healthy and flavorful.

So, let's get started!

Ingredients

To make Madras curry vegetables with brown rice, you will need the following ingredients:

• 1 green bell pepper, sliced

• 1 red onion, sliced

• 1 red bell pepper, sliced

• 1 cup of sweetcorn

• 1 cup of frozen peas

• 1 cup of green beans

• 1 cup of brown rice

• 2 tablespoons of Madras curry powder

• 2 tablespoons of olive oil

• 1 teaspoon of salt

• 1 teaspoon of black pepper

• 2 cups of water

• 1 can of coconut milk

Section 1: Cooking the Rice

The first step in making Madras curry vegetables with brown rice is to cook the rice. Brown rice is a great option because it is high in fiber and nutrients. To cook the rice, follow these simple steps:

1. Rinse the rice in cold water to remove any excess starch.

2. In a medium-sized pot, bring 2 cups of water to a boil.

3. Add the rice to the boiling water and stir.

4. Reduce the heat to low, cover the pot, and let the rice simmer for 40-45 minutes.

5. Once the rice is cooked, remove it from the heat and let it sit for 5 minutes before fluffing it with a fork.

While the rice is cooking, you can start preparing the vegetables.

Section 2: Preparing the Vegetables

Madras curry vegetables are made with a variety of colorful and nutritious vegetables. Here's how to prepare them:

1. Wash and slice the green bell pepper, red onion, and red bell pepper into thin strips.

2. Heat the olive oil in a large pan over medium heat.

3. Add the sliced vegetables to the pan and sauté for 5-7 minutes until they are tender.

4. Add the sweetcorn, peas, and green beans to the pan and stir well.

5. Sprinkle the Madras curry powder, salt, and black pepper over the vegetables and stir to combine.

6. Reduce the heat to low and let the vegetables simmer for 5-10 minutes until they are fully cooked.

7. Add the can of coconut milk to the pan and stir well.

8. Let the curry simmer for an additional 5 minutes until the sauce has thickened.Once the vegetables are fully cooked and the sauce has thickened, your Madras curry vegetables are ready to serve.

Section 3: Serving the Dish

Madras curry vegetables with brown rice is a complete and healthy meal that is perfect for lunch or dinner. To serve the dish, simply spoon the vegetables and sauce over a bed of brown rice. You can garnish the dish with fresh cilantro, chopped nuts, or shredded coconut for added flavor and texture.

This dish is also great for meal prep as it can be stored in the fridge for up to 4 days. Simply reheat the curry and rice in the microwave or on the stove for a quick and easy meal.

Madras curry vegetables with brown rice is a delicious and healthy meal that is easy to make and perfect for vegetarians and vegans. With a blend of flavorful spices and nutritious vegetables, this dish is sure to satisfy your taste buds and keep you feeling full and satisfied. So, the next time you're looking for a healthy and flavorful meal, give this recipe a try!

[kybelestorm]

Dynamic - Part 2

Saturdays are our lazy days. Even when there are chores to be done, it’s nice to take things slowly without any pressure. I wake up around 8 as the sunlight sneaks in through the crack in the curtains. My Dear is already awake, as always, and quietly goofing around on his phone. I snuggle closer for warmth and rub His tummy to let Him know I’m awake.

“Wanna order breakfast?”

It’s a silly luxury to get breakfast delivered, but once in a while we need to treat ourselves. I stagger out of bed long enough to grab my phone and curl back up next to Him as I pick out coffee, doughnuts and breakfast sammies. He kisses my head and rubs my back as we wait for our delivery.

The rest of the morning passes leisurely. We watch the new episode of Drag Race with breakfast, and take turns playing video games. I do a quick load of dishes while He plays Spider-Man. The kitchen is my quiet place, and as I rinse soap from the plates I replay the events from the night before. I’m still wet and beyond horny from the blowjob, and wondering exactly what time “afternoon” starts. Is 12:01 pm too literal?

I finish up the morning dishes and decide to get a shower. I want to be squeaky clean for later, so I pamper myself by taking my time under the hot water. When I emerge, skin pink and steaming, my legs are freshly shaved and smooth and I feel just a little sexier. I throw on some cute panties and a D&D t-shirt, and decide to spice things up with a pair of thigh high striped socks. (Who needs pants on the weekend?) I pause, biting my lower lip, then reach over to open the small black box next to the bed. I fish out my wrist and ankle cuffs, the pale pink ones with the soft fur lining. My heart hammering against my ribs and hands shaking slightly, I put them on, making sure that they are tight but comfortable. I take a deep breath and head back out to the living room.

“I think we’re actually going to get Carnage in this game,” He says by way of greeting. “I’m in a good spot to save if you want to play for a bit.”

“Sure.”

His eyes flick over, land on my ankles and travel up my legs slowly. “W-what’s going on?”

“Oh, you know.” I smile as his gaze meets mine. “Just giving you some ideas for later.”

“Hmm, okay.”

I have to admit it’s hard to concentrate on my game, and I die more than once thanks to my distraction. It certainly doesn’t help when He starts rubbing my leg through my sock. By the time I get up to make lunch, I barely know where I am anymore. My panties are wet from the anticipation, my cheeks feel flushed and hot. I’m not sure I even taste the burritos. When we’re done eating, I want to beg for Him to drag me into the bedroom, to ravish me in whatever way He desires. Instead, I try to exercise some self control and flop down on the sofa to watch a movie. I half-heartedly pick out some weird Italian crime thriller.

“Before that gets started, I need you to come here.” His voice is a bit lower than usual.

“What’s up?” I slide off the couch and crawl over to Him on the floor.

He pulls me in for a kiss, His tongue pushing past my lips. My hand reaches up to cup His cheek as I lean in, catching His bottom lip between my teeth. When I pull away, our eyes lock and I feel like I’m falling.

“Now, do you want to watch a movie or do you want some sexy time?” His voice is taunting me. “Your choice.”

“I…” The hesitation is because I could stay here, wrapped in His arms, kissing Him forever.

“Or I could keep teasing you all day… But you better decide quick.”

“Ugh,” I groan and steal another kiss. “But both options sound so good.”

He feigns a shrug. “Like I said, your choice. Tell me what you want.”

My whole body is pulsing with my heartbeat, my head is swimming. “I… I want you to take me to the bedroom.”

“Then you better get your ass up.”

I do as I’m told and make my way to the bedroom, tossing the comforter off the bed and hastily chucking aside some of the extra pillows. I turn just as He enters the room and reach out to wrap my arms around Him, fully expecting to resume our makeout session. Instead, He takes a step toward me and shoves me back onto the bed. I don’t have time to protest as He flips me over onto my elbows and knees; a second later, I feel His palm connect with my left ass cheek with a loud crack and I gasp. Heat floods my body. The second smack leaves me breathless. I try to get up onto my hands, but He grabs the back of my neck with one hand and pushes me down into the mattress.

My backside in the air, I’m utterly vulnerable and yet completely relaxed. The next time He spanks me a moan escapes my lips and I clutch the sheets. Am I drooling? He pulls my panties to the center and brings His open hand down on the right cheek. I feel heat and color blossom across my skin. I desperately wish I could see the lovely red handprints myself.

My Dearest leans over me and I feel his erection press against my ass. For a split second I wonder if he’s going to take me from behind right then and there, but he reaches past my head and grabs something from the black box. A moment later my wrists are fastened together with a clip and a few inches of chain. I tug at them, savoring the feeling, when I feel His hand slide inside my underwear, His fingers stroking the slippery wetness there. I moan and grind back against His touch, and when He reaches my clit I nearly explode. He circles it, teasing, and I cum hard on His hand. He doesn’t stop. The next few orgasms leave me gasping for breath, my legs shaking like jelly, my panties drenched.

He flips me over onto my back, grabs the chain and pulls my arms up over my head. A second later the panties are gone. He grabs my thighs just above the socks and pushes my legs apart; I moan as He enters me. A thumb teases my clit again and I just want to beg for Him to fuck me senseless. He reaches over, His cock pressing deeper inside me, as He returns to the box. In my dream state I hear the jangle of metal, and my stomach does a flip when I see the clamps in His hand. The feeling of them pinching my nipples makes me squirm, and once they’re on properly he gives the rose gold connecting chain a tug. I gasp at the combination of pain and bliss, and He pushes my t-shirt out of the way so He can enjoy the view.

The moment He starts fucking me is like a sudden high. The world spirals away as I look into his eyes; there is nothing else. I think I’m screaming with each thrust, I can hear the sweet jingle of metal as I pull at the restraints and my breasts bounce with our motion. I feel my pussy swell and clench.

“Ah… I wanna cum for you!”

He grunts by way of permission, and I arch against Him, my body wracked by another orgasm. My brain is white noise now, incapable of coherent thought. His breath catches, and I hear Him groan, “Shit, I’m gonna cum inside you.”

“Please.” One, small word is all I can manage.

He buries Himself inside me and explodes, filling me with liquid heat. I’m still riding out my last orgasm, trembling and all but crying from the overload of sensation. I feel Him relax, giving a few gentle thrusts as He leaves His load inside me. I fall apart into the pillows and try to remember how to breathe.

He reaches up, and before I can protest yanks the nipple clamps from my chest. I shriek at the sudden pain and hear Him chuckle warmly.

“I think you liked that.”

“I… think I did.” Words are very hard.

He rubs my foot and gets up to wash Himself off. As I listen to the sound of the shower, I laze in a boneless heap on the bed. I can feel the semen running out of me, cooling on my skin. My wrists and ankles are still cuffed, but that’s comforting somehow. When He comes back, He sits on the end of the bed and strokes my legs as I take the wrist cuffs off. He playfully grabs one ankle and pulls it over, but then gently unhooks the leather.

I don’t want Him to ever stop touching me.

Once I’m unbound, I snuggle close and wrap my arms around His middle with my head resting in His lap. We stay like that until I start to get goosebumps from the cold, and I kiss Him on the knee before getting up to find a snack and a glass of juice. I feel calm and at peace. He is the love of my life, my Forever Human and the missing piece of my soul. Everything else is just a bonus, but at moments like this I realize how truly lucky I am. The rest of the day passes slowly, quietly, and there is nowhere I would rather be.

[snake-and-mouse]

Real talk the best thing I've found to help me do things like take meds on time is something my therapist called "routine stacking"

Whenever you have a task you need to do at a certain time, pair it with something else that's A a routine you've already managed to learn (or not even a routine no worries if you honestly don't have any, but just SOMETHING you reliably will be doing when you need to take your meds) or B make a routine incorporate something positive that will motivate you and make your brain see the routine as something good.

Examples, I've managed overtime to build a set "just woke up now what" routine that helps me push thru the initial executive dysfunction hill when getting out of bed, which has been a problem my whole life. It's just a set of basic morning tasks like brush my teeth or let out my dog.

I learned if I make sure these are always done the same way in the same order, over time while it doesn't become "automatic" the way routines do for neurotypicals, it's more like going down a street and having road signs making sure I drive the correct way even if I can't remember or need the pressure of actually having the sign tell me to turn left to be able to actually Do It.

Before, pretty much every task I needed to do in the morning and starting the day would take So Much Effort. But now, hey you go pee just about every time you wake up, right? Well now you're at the sink washing your hands. So wash your face too. And now teeth. And now let out the dog (because she knows the routine too and tell you it's time) and now feed her, well you were in the kitchen, so make yourself breakfast too. Well hey! You just did a whole morning (or whenever you woke up) routine wtf!

It's still diffucult on bad brain days, but there's always a safety net now at least to fall on, so on hard days I at least don't have to think or decide anything, the list of tasks is right there.

Now for the med part, instead of making taking my meds its own habit, I added it to another part of the routine. Half my meds are in the bathroom, the other half are where I eat. You brushing your teeth? Well make sure the water cup is filled enough to rinse your mouth AND swallow your pills cuz you're doing that right after. And for meds that need food? I keep granola bars or snack mixes right there next to the towels. And meal times? Well your pill box is right on the table, better grab what meds you need and set them right next to your plate

(also tip, if you take A LOT of meds that vary day to day and what time it is, I keep a shot glass on the table too specifically so I can browse over my pill box and take whatever I need that meal and put it in the glass, then it's easier to just take them one by one as I eat)

I also make sure I have lots of on hand foods in my room as well, the stacking works the best when you make it as easy as possible to do something, so hey, you're in your room doing xyz, next part of the routine is take your meds, but wait you need food or a drink? Don't assume yeah I'll just go do that. Executive dysfunction can make getting up and going to the kitchen take two hours. Or you go and get food but by the time you wander back, ya no you left the room where the thought "take pill" happened so that thought is gone. You also forgot you needed your phone charger RIP. So keep non-perishable snacks EVRYWHERE or get a mini fridge if you can afford it.

And snacks is a good option for B. Don't be afraid to treat yourself like a pet that doesn't want to take a pill. Taking your meds at the same time as eating some candy or doing something fun like a hobby or game, it makes a positive association in your brain that makes the routine stick easier as something you WANT to do, which means your brain will actually Remember to do it. So who cares if you shouldn't really need a bribe, you DESERVE a treat. Put some MnMs next to your Adderall. Charge your switch next to your pill box. Buy some fancy juice and drink that instead of always taking your pill with water. Make the routine something you GET to do instead of HAVE TO.

Anyway this has been Being Highly Therapised with Logan, hope someone actually benefit from it 😂

extremely fucked up that one of the symptoms of adhd is forgetfulness and difficulty sticking to habits and schedules and one of the best ways to alleviate those symptoms is by remembering to take a pill every morning at the same time

[chvnnie]

Idk where this falls under but like, domestic life with Han Jisung sounds so good to me rn, specifically with this scenario:

You arrive home (from work, grocery shopping, buying stuff, etc) and what you don't expect is for Jisung to be sitting on the couch watching TV completely shirtless with Bbama sleeping on top of him. (oh to sleep on jisungs tiddies—)

The sight instantly makes you melt and you just smother the two with welcome kisses and cuddles

(depends on if the couple keeps it pg or moves things to the bedroom 👀👀)

listen. LISTEN. domestic jisung is honestly all i think about. you’re speaking my language with this request, anon.

Friday

han jisung x gn reader

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff, suggestive content - MINORS DNI

warnings: absolute fluff, reader has no pronouns, mentions of painkillers (given in a medical setting), mentions of restraints, suggestive content, like a sentence of dirty talk at the end, not proofread bc i thrive in chaos

summary: jisung is the best remedy for a bad day.

a/n: the way i said i wasn’t going to post another drabble yet and here i am, doing just that. thank you for all the requests! if i haven’t answered yours yet, please be patient! i promise i saw it, and i promise i’ll write it :) also, thank you so much for everyone who has sent things in! the way you’ve all supported me and my content means the world to me. i hope you enjoy!

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents han jisung as a person or stray kids as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

Today might have been the worst day of your college career.

It was your busy day, which meant you were in class from 8:00-12:00, getting a short hour break before you were back in class from 2:00-5:00. To make the day busier, your advisor asked to meet you during your break today, which meant you didn’t have time to relax.

The morning classes were awful and long, one throwing in a surprise test (the professor clarified it was not a quiz, but a test and that there’s no way you shouldn’t be prepared for it) and another assigning a fourteen page paper due by the end of next week. The meeting with your advisor was less than ideal, and you left it on edge and late for your first afternoon class. All the afternoon classes were nothing to write home about, but after the morning you had, everything annoyed you.

All you wanted to do was go home, order pizza, and watch movies with Jisung. That’s it. You didn’t feel like you were asking much.

You didn’t come into the apartment quietly. Hands full of books, your laptop, and your travel mug, you kicked the door shut with a slam and slipped out of your shoes, the converse bouncing off the wall. A book slipped out of your hand and the thud it made definitely would get you a noise complaint. What-fucking-ever. Just another bad thing to add to a god awful day.

“Ji, I’m home.” You called out, fumbling around until you reached the small kitchen table. Dropping your books and laptop on it, you slid the heavy backpack off your shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Walking to the sink, you didn’t notice the lack of greeting until your cup was rinsed and there wasn’t a 5’7” man tackling you against the counter. You pulled out your phone to see if he said anything about not being here when you got home, but your text inbox was empty. He didn’t have class on Friday, and typically stayed in all day if he didn’t have anywhere to be.

Strange. This wasn’t like him at all.

You walked to the bedroom, but were only greeted with an unmade bed and an empty computer chair. There was evidence Jisung was here recently; the empty soda can next to at least five empty water bottles on the desk, a half eaten bag of chips, one of Bbama’s hundred chew toys at the foot of the chair, and most importantly, the home screen of a game still pulled up.

Odd.

You went back to the front door. His shoes were still there, his car keys thrown on the small table by the door used primarily to pile mail on, his bike leaning against the opposite wall. He should be here.

But he wasn’t in the bedroom, his usual Friday haunt.

He didn’t greet you immediately.

Where could he be?

You walked into the living room, and kicked yourself for not checking it first.

When the two of you moved in together, you agreed to buy a new couch. Deciding to spend a little extra on a nicer couch, you picked a grey sectional. The cushions were incredibly soft, it was easy to clean, and most importantly - it was large and deep. You could sit in the middle of the cushion and your feet still wouldn’t touch the ground. It’s very common for you to climb onto the couch, intending to watch tv, and falling asleep before the first episode is even over. It’s your favorite piece of furniture you own. It’s also something you and Jisung fight over the most.

The corner of the sectional where both ends meet is your favorite spot. And Jisung’s. And Bbama’s. So when all three of you are on the couch, it is a full blown battle to see who gets the coziest spot. Jisung is relentless when it comes to that corner; he has not hesitated to push you off the couch before and he’d do it in a heartbeat. You would be mad if you didn’t match that aggression, often literally kicking him out of the spot to have it to yourself. One time you even sprained your wrist as you dove over the back of the couch to get there first.

“You did that on purpose to get first dibs on the corner.” Jisung said to you in the emergency room that night. “Don’t think I don’t see through this.”

You just smirked, painkillers going straight to your head. “So does that mean I get it when we get home?”

He gave it to you that night.

The next day, he was back to throwing hands and wrestling you to the ground for it (carefully, because he didn’t want to hurt your wrist more).

So it wasn’t surprising to see Jisung curled up in that corner, legs spread out onto the chaise. The windows were opened, the spring breeze drafting in and making the room feel more fresh and cool. He sat slightly slouched, head barely visible over the edge of the couch. You walked over to him, ready to jump and claim the corner for yourself when you melted into a puddle.

Jisung was shirtless, clothed only in short, black cotton shorts. The backwards cap on his head told you he opted not to do his hair today, brown ends curling underneath it. His head was tilted slightly to the left, eyes focused on the show playing on the television a few feet away. Bbama laid on his chest, the white ball of fluff letting wheezy dog snores fill the room. Jisung had his airpods in - he sometimes liked to connect them to the tv when he was home alone so as not to disturb Bbama or your noise sensitive neighbors. His fingers stroked up and down the dog’s back as if he was comforting the animal. The two of them looked incredibly cozy, and never in your life have you seen something so incredibly precious.

A part of you didn’t want to ruin the moment. The other part was left a bit left out.

In the end, the latter won.

You circled around the couch, Jisung catching your movement in his peripherals. Before he could even remove a headphone, you were on top of him, hands cupping his face as you smothered him with kisses. Anywhere your lips met skin, you kissed; in between his eyebrows, the tip of his nose, his squishy cheeks. Jisung giggled underneath you and made a piss poor attempt to wiggle away from the kisses.

“Baby.” He whined between the laughs. “Let me up.”

“No.” You continued the assault, kisses drifting to his ears and neck. Any skin that was exposed, you would cover with kisses. It was what you deserved after the day you had, and what Jisung deserved for looking so damn cute in his little shorts and baseball cap.

Bbama, who was just now waking up, squirmed out from between you and Jisung, directing a small bark at the two of you.

“Aw, you jealous? Want some kisses too?” You let go of Jisung, leaning off of him to try and grab the dog. Bbama moved before you could grab him and ran off, effectively escaping the kiss attack you had launched on the two of them.

With you distracted, Jisung took the opportunity to tackle you. He pushed you onto the couch, hands pinning your wrists down as he began his counterattack, returning all the kisses you gave him. You squirmed, laughs filling the apartment as his lips tickled your skin.

“Let me go.” You laughed, trying to lift your arms up.

“No. Mine.” Jisung said, kisses not halting even for a second. Just as you were, Jisung was determined to kiss any part of skin he could find. The weather was nice today, so you chose to wear a tank top, leaving your collarbones free game.

When his lips brushed against them, you unconsciously arched your back, a whine slipping through your laughter. Jisung didn’t mean to get that reaction from you - in fact, he forgot your collarbones were one of your weak spots until he kissed them. But he wasn’t mad about it either.

Jisung rested his chin on your chest, looking up at you. “How was your day?”

He watched your smile turn into a small frown, and he hated himself for ruining the moment. “Not great.”

“I’m sorry.” His thumbs stroked the wrists he was still pinning down, unwilling to let them go just yet. “Anything I can do?”

You shrugged. “Just wanna spend time with you.”

He felt his face flush. Two years together, and you still weren’t sick of him. You still came home everyday wanting to be around him, still texted him throughout the day when he wasn’t around, still got excited to see him. He was happy he wasn’t the only one who still got butterflies. When he first sees you in the morning, eyes partially open and breath stale from sleep, the butterflies reignite and take over, not stopping for a beat until he falls asleep next to you at night. The next morning, they wake again, beating faster than the day before.

And you felt that way. About him. He still couldn’t fathom it, the idea still unbelievable to him. But everyday, he counted every lucky star he had and thanked them for you.

It was a blessing to be loved by you.

“I’m always happy to spend time with you, my love. Anything you want me to do?” He asked.

“You could let my arms go.” You pushed against his hand for emphasis.

“No way. You’ll tickle me if I do.”

The hint of mischief in your eyes confirmed that you would in fact tickle him the moment your hands were free.

“Besides-” he brought his head back up, leaning into you. His lips brushed slightly against yours, close enough to kiss you but refusing to close the gap. “-I like when you’re restrained for me.”

You smirked up at your boyfriend, hips raising to brush against his. “Yeah? Then what are you waiting for?”

The chuckle that he released filled you with both fear and excitement for what was to come.

Jisung adjusted your arms, grabbing both wrists with one of his hands. The other traveled down your body before it landed on the waistline of your shorts, pushing them off along with your underwear.

“Spread your legs, baby. You’re not going to stop cumming until I’m sick of it.”

©: chvnnie 2022

[allywritesforfun]

hey i really enjoyed your nightly routine post with wilbur? i was wondering if you could do something similar but in the morning instead?

awe my love! I'm glad that you enjoyed the nightly the routine... here is the morning routine!

{Morning Routine} Wilbur Soot x Reader

summary: you and wilbur made a nightly routine video that blew up more than you have thought, so now its time to do a morning routine!

pronouns: not mentioned

word count: 2280

trigger warnings: swearing, mention of a knife for going chop chop, this was too cute for even me to handle and it came from my hands

a/n: my god is this long! I really got carried away. I could've made this into two parts but whatevs

a/n pt 2: takes place after the “Nightly Routines” but not directly connected 

regular masterlist

wilbur masterlist

You deeply groaned as you fluttered your eyes open. This was not a great time to wake up. You really wanted another hour of sleep, but you knew you had work to get done today.

You looked behind you. You smiled at the sight of Wilbur in his sweet slumber, his arm lazily draped over your waist. Wilbur very much loved to be in bed with you. If he could, he would spend all day there, just you in his arms and some soft lofi in the background. 

That was something very rare to get. Being a streamer and musician, Wilbur was busy almost all the time and rarely took a day off. Mornings and nights were dedicated to you. However, there were times that you would stream with him, or stop by the office to give him food, but nothing was compared to waking up with him.

“Oh shit,” You whispered, “We’re supposed to do morning vlog today.”

You looked around for Wilbur’s camera, which was no where to be found. You settled on stretching over to nightstand and unplugging your phone. You looked back at Wilbur to make sure he was still sleeping. You could tell he was by the gentle raise and fall of his chest and subtle “Ah-woo”. You just knew that was the perfect way to start the vlog. You recored him for about ten seconds of him doing his ‘not really a snore but definitely something’ and giggled almost the whole way through.

You would think that after living with him for two months and the multiple sleepovers that you’ve had with him, that you would be used to it by now. But even today you still giggled just like you did when you first woke up with him. 

You snuck yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen. Once arrived you did the intro, “Good morning chat! It is currently about 6:30 in the morning, and as you realize, I am the only one awake. As you saw, Wilbur is still sound asleep and that how it is every morning. So we’re going to vlog our morning routine today, which I promise is way more interesting than the nightly routine vlog. So, Wilbur is literally the best person ever and deserves the world. And his world, besides me of course, is his morning coffee. So I’m going to use our Keurig to get his coffee started.” 

You stopped the recording and decided to get some of your creativity out. You weren’t musical like Wilbur and can't draw for shit, so videography was your way of being creative. You set your phone the in the corner and opened up the blind to let a little bit of light through. It still looked basic so you moved your plant to the background, which added the perfect look. You started brewing and hit record. 

While that was going, you measured out the creamer and syrup and grabbed your sippy cup for your chocolate milk. No judgement here. We all know chocolate milk tastes better in sippy cups. 

The brew came to a slow stop and you grabbed the camera, “Wasn't that a satisfactory angle chat? Now, I am more of an iced coffee person, so in the morning I have water or chocolate milk, and today is definitely a chocolate milk day.” You raised your cup to the camera and fake ‘clinked’ it, cutting the recording when it was closest to the camera. You finished up making Wilbur’s coffee and set it on the living room table. 

You looked at the time, 6:50 am, now was a good time to get Wilbur up. You always let his coffee sit out for a little bit, that way he could drink it the second that he woke up. You threw some napkins under your drinks and moved another plant over there. You wanted your place to look aesthetically pleasing, even if it was a little bit staged. You did a transition with your cup, this time now on the table.

“Okay chat, we all now mr. simpbur is a snuggler so we don't have breakfast in the kitchen, instead we share on the couch, that way we can get all of our snuggles in before he has to leave for the office. I have everything set up, normally I would prepare breakfast too, but I feel like cooking with Wilbur this morning. We’ll do this about once a week for some bonding time, so let's go get him up,” You decided to keep recording, just in case Wilbur woke up from your loss of presence. 

You creaked the door open, Wilbur was still asleep. He adjusted his body for that he was hugging a pillow, who you assumed was your replacement. You laid down next to him and just took a moment to admire him. It was moments like this that you forgot that you were internet personalities. This was you. This was Wilbur. Both of you living your life without needing to exaggerate yourself. This was Wilbur at his purest form. He was all relaxed, not even aware that he was being recorded.

You scooted closer to him and intertwined your legs with him. You brushed his bangs with the back of your hands and gently placed your lips on your forehead. He stirred a little bit, but not enough to wake him up. You took the pillow from him and wrapped your body around his, “Wilbur, my love, it's about seven, you need to get up.”

You could tell he woke up by him pulling you closer and burying his head only you neck. You gently massaged his head and twirled his curls between your fingers, “Come on Will, I got your coffee made already. We need to start breakfast.”

He shook his head and kissed your shoulder, “Mine.”

You laughed, “Yes Will, and ‘yours’ is hungry, let’s get up and eat.”

He slowly nodded and pulled you closer, “Mmmm... I love you.”

“I love you too, simpbur.”

He snapped his head up at the nickname and saw the camera, “Fuck-that’s today?”

You giggled and detached yourself from, “Say good morning to chat.”

He shook his head and buried it in his pillow out of embarrassment. You stop recording and put your phone on the stand. Just seeing Wilbur all flustered was enough to make you go back to bed. You laid back down with him and pulled him on top of you.

“We’re gonna have to re-record that part,” Wilbur mentioned.

You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, which he happily leaned into, “No bubs, we gotta keep it in. It was a very cute moment.”

He shook his head aggressively, “No! That was embarrassing!”

“Too bad, it’s on my phone so I get to chose what goes in.”

He huffed and grabbed your hand, accepting defeat, “You said you made my coffee?”

You two got up and sat down on the couch. Wilbur took you into his arms the second he took his first sip, his personal way of saying ‘thank you, you’re the best person to ever exist’. 

“What are you feeling for breakfast?” You asked.

“You,” Wilbur joked, kissing your temple. 

You gently pushed him, “No actually, I really want yogurt, so pick something that goes well with that.”

“Can we just make a fruit plate?”

You excitedly nodded, if it wasn't for Wilbur, you would not be eating healthy. He really made sure that you were going to live as long as he did. Neither of you could live without the other. If something crazy didn't happen to you, you were going to die from a broken heart.

Wilbur grabbed your phone and started recording, “So um, good morning chat, I’ve had some coffee and more awake now. What you just saw- no you fucking didn't. We’re on the sofa right now and we decided on a fruit plate with yogurt this morning, trying to be a little healthier considering we had ice cream at one am last night. So we’re gonna make that off camera, because if you guys get us to six million subs, we’ll do a cooking stream!”

“Oh we are now?” You questioned. “I was never told about this.”

Wilbur laughed and kissed your temple, “Well you know now, that's good enough innit?”

You shook your head and placed your hand over the camera, Wilbur stopped the recording. You go the fruit out while Wilbur prepared the sink for rinsing and knives for chopping. 

You made the plate look all nice and took it back to the couch. Wilbur placed his arm back over you and grabbed the remote with is free hand while you centered your phone.

“Okay chat, we’re gonna eat and watch tv for a bit, then you're gonna get ready with us. Wilbur has a test shoot at the office today, so we gotta make him look all pretty and obviously personal hygiene is a must... so yeah, brb.”

You two set up another game show to watch, it sorta became your go to show. Especially because there was no storyline and you could talk when you wanted. This was a pretty chill morning, you two enjoyed each other's presence. 

When you finished up, Wilbur took the dishes and you went to the bathroom and cleaned up a little bit. You heard Wilbur go into his closet, so you started recording, “Okay chat, last thing we do before he leaves is actually get ready. Wilbur is getting changed right now so I’m gonna brush my hair out. I can get a little aggressive with the snarls and Wilbur always thinks I'm ripping my hair out so I always do it when he's not around to make sure he doesn't get worried.”

You set the phone in the corner and set it up to record a time lapse. You heard off in distance some light pop type of music, so you knew that Wilbur got his speaker out.

“Are you playing copyrighted music?” You called.

“It’s released Lovejoy!”

You smiled, you always got giddy seeing how happy Wilbur was able to make himself with his own music. You set your brush down and started to wet your toothbrush, Wilbur slid into frame, already jamming out to his own music.

You covered your mouth with your hand stifled your laughter. Wilbur laughed with you and tugged on your waist, trying to get you to dance with him. You aggressively shook your head no, you hated dancing. You would think by now that you would be used to Wilbur and his random dance breaks, but you never came around. 

You looked down in shame as Wilbur attempted to get you to spin around. Once you made it clear that you were not in the mood to dance, Wilbur turned down the music and waddle over to the counter.

You grabbed the camera, “If someone wants a very tall British man, you can come get him. Warning: not fun dance outbreaks.”

“Oh come on now, y/n!” Wilbur wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his head on yours, “Stop pretending like you don't like to dance.” “You know I hate dancing,” You reminded him.

“Well chat, apparently I’m not allowed to have any fun in the morning? But anyway, that was a joke, but- we do really have to get ready. Should we do this Disney Channel style?”

You laughed and shook your head, “No, I think I just want to make sure you don't miss your meeting.”

“That’s at nine! We have time! Please let me have fun with you! It’s going to be such a stressful day!” He pouted with the cutest puppy dogs eyes.

There was no way that you could say no to him, “Alright, what fun we having?”

Wilbur said nothing and prepared his toothbrush like yours, “Last one to finish brushing their teeth has to do the dishes tonight.”

You hated dishes. You were winning this one. You didn't even wait for a countdown. You instantly grabbed your toothbrush and turned on the water with lightening speed. 

“What?!” Wilbur yelled. “That’s not fair!”

You did your best to bump him away, but it literally did nothing. Both of you were laughing very hard but Wilbur quickly caught up. You both fought with your hands, trying to cup a decent amount water. You both managed to get the water into your mouth and you turned to face Wilbur, it came down to who could rinse the fastest. You two just stared at each other, wishing the water around. You were dead serious. You were not doing the dishes tonight. Wilbur kept flaunting his hands around trying get himself to go faster, which ended up in him completely breaking out in laughter and spitting all over your face. It took you by surprise and all that you could you do was laugh to yourself, you eventually spit the water out in the sink, raising your hands in victory. 

“I am so sorry, love!” Wilbur took your hand and guided you into his arms, gently running his hand up and down your back, “I didn't think that would be that hilarious.” “It’s okay,” You laughed and looked back in the mirror. You were completely drenched shoulder up, “It was fun. Better to happen to me than you, you look really nice today for the shoot.” “Thank you,” Wilbur blushed and turned you around, “I think that is enough recording for today. All that we have left to do is leave so... thank you for watching! Subscribe now and remember, cooking stream at six mil! Bye guys!”

[maximumninjavoid]

Rewrites part the fifth Mining For Unobtanium

At the risk of being redundant............

if you're under 18 BEGONE with you !

it's a tad angsty

@indigosaurus I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU

“There are other things you like to do, anything you’re willing to teach me?” he asked one morning as we lay in bed, catching my breath, he just had the nerve to look even more invigorated; and I was smitten enough to find him sexier sweaty and musky after a run.

“What are you interested in, that’s the question.”

“Well, I’m curious by nature…”

“No, you’re competitive by nature. This is different. Is it something you want to learn because it makes you hard? Makes your breath catch? Because when you rub one out in the shower, or late at night in your trailer, that’s the scenario that keeps coming back, and you come so hard it almost hurts? Or, is it something you want to learn to add to your already considerable arsenal of seduction?”

He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at me with a quizzical expression. I could see the gears turning and I smiled and kissed his cheek and got out of bed. “ You’re about to ask me what the difference is, aren’t you?” and I started the shower and got in. I got under the water and waited.

Two, three, four.. And enter Henry. “ The difference is, is it play, is it a scene, is it a relationship, or is it something else?” He put his arms around me and pulled me close. I grabbed a shower puff and body wash and started washing his back. “So, if I had tub cuffs, and they’re restraints, with suction cups, made for baths and showers, and we had spent the night together, and the next morning as we were showering, I restrained your arms, got you really good and hard, wound you up like a Swiss time piece, edged you a time or two, and then scampered out of the shower, you would……”

“Well, I’d release myself, hunt you down, pick you up, play a little rough with you and fuck you right into the mattress, probably using very coarse language, especially if you seemed to like that.” I turned him so I could wash more of him, and get parts of me covered with suds.

“Exactly! And that’s….”

“Play!”

“Precisely. Rather freeform, roll with it, not negotiated, off-the-cuff. You’ve probably been doing it for ages.”

We kissed and washed and rinsed and kissed, I could stand under falling water and look at this man, I wanted to commit it to memory.

As we were drying off I asked him how he knew which women he could face fuck. Surely he couldn’t try that with every woman he had been with.

“ Well, if I’m lucky enough to find a woman without a gag reflex….”

“Don’t even TRY to wink at me, that is the one thing you cannot do!” I laughed.

“Seriously, some women are more…..enthusiastic.”

“Right. And the ones who don’t faint when you release The Kraken might get a second shot…. ”

He put his face in his hands, shaking his head and laughing.

“ You didn’t… ”

“Yes, sir, I most certainly did. There has to have been at least one woman who saw that and tapped out. Ill bet you have a devil of a time getting women to do anal.”

“ I would like to…..”

I thought as much. “ You could negotiate that, with time, patience, a LOT of lube, and gifts. Spectacular gifts.” I giggled.

We got dressed and headed to the kitchen. Coffee in hand, he rummaged around for trainer-approved breakfast and we kept talking. “Now, if she calls you “Daddy”, that’s a whole different barrel of goblins.”

“Why so?”

“Oh, how much time do you have? There are so many different variations on the Daddy dynamic, it could be just that she’s getting off on your BDE, or that you’re in charge for the moment, or in the bedroom, Then there’s Daddy Dom Little Girl, and littles and middles, and that may or may not be your thing, or, for the right woman, it may become YOUR thing. Literally this could be a whole day of conversation. “

He stopped, and gave that a great deal of thought. He ate, I had more psychotic rage stabilizer….. I mean coffee.

"Does it make your cock hard to inflict pain?”

“What kind of question is THAT?”

“A rather fair one if you play with sex and power….”

That one he wasn’t prepared for. I could tell by the body language. His shoulders were sort of rolled in, hunched up, I could see the tension.

“ Let me try to make it less murky. When you spanked me, what was the part of it that got you turned on?”

He didn’t hesitate, answered very quickly. “ It was the way you were reacting, squirming on my lap, arching into it, like you wanted it, and the sounds you made, God, you were practically dripping…..Oh for fuck’s sake, look at what TALKING about this has done!”

And sure enough, Henry had a chubby. I crossed the kitchen to him and pressed up against him, running my hand up and down his thick cock.

“ You poor hedonistic baby…seems you’ve a growing problem,” I smiled and kept palming his dick through his low slung sweatpants. I eased them down over his hips and took him into my warm wet talented mouth.

The days were dwindling down, I was trying to commit every word, every gesture, every nuance to memory, and he knew it. I still hadn’t solidified a plan, but I knew I wasn’t going to like it. I had hoped the phone call would come later, I really had wanted the election over and done, but I could see that was just more shenanigans, and maybe home wasn’t necessarily a place after all. Henry probably forgot, but his solicitors didn’t and I was still being well compensated for my skills and knowledge. Aside from getting me here, and my quarantine stay, I hadn’t cost him much of anything. Well, the clothes for our date and whatever he spent for that once in a life time dinner and kitchen tour.

I loved him, and wanted to be with him, but I knew I was holding him back, because as long as I was here, he’d not entertain another woman, and he couldn’t find the mother of his children that way. He couldn’t bring me to meet his brothers and their wives, no cover story. And I didn’t think I could pull off the level of eccentricity required to be the David Bowie character in *The Man who Fell To Earth*. Henry would get past it. Too driven, too determined really, to wallow. Too good at his craft, really. And he certainly did not need a dodgy old albatross around his neck. When he went for his runs, I worked on my exit strategy.

I needed contingencies. I felt like August Walker, you know, great peace, great pain, blow everything up, rip half my face off, not look nearly as good doing it……So, if I wasn’t going back to the US, where would I go? I couldn’t really retire, so I started looking for a job. With my credentials, I actually got a few nibbles doing residential treatment, and that would decrease my cost considerably. No rent, no food. I’d have to get someone to look after my little house, put my things in storage, or jettison it all. Maybe it was just stuff after all. Odd to think how easy it would be to dismantle it all.

When he was home, there was not a glimmer of even a hint of bother to be seen. I didn’t want to taint our interactions with any of my difficulties, and being who he is, my hero would try his best to solve or fix the situation. I knew it wasn’t solve- able. There isn’t any fix for bad timing, really. Smiles, laughs, kisses, cuddles, amazing sex, deep conversations, talking about life and interpersonal interactions and power exchange and all the varied ways one can fuse pain and pleasure so that the line blurs, or even vanishes. We spoke of my passion for cutting, and how blood started out as a hard limit for me back when the crust of the earth was cooling. How I tried temporary piercing, decoratively, and my dear friend Robin of blessed memory. I told him the story of being on stage at this event with all of these needles in my flesh, with feathers and beads, and jewels, all above the lines of the corset I wore that night. How she had done laces up and down each upper arm, and when the show dragged, I would flick the needles and release more endorphins to entertain myself, keeping the *big show business smile*.

Henry threw back his head and let loose a tremendous belly laugh, deep and rich. It warmed my heart to hear that sound.

“ Oh, I haven’t told you the best part! This is ….” and I started laughing, remembering how ridiculous this next part is.

“So, I get this *brilliant* idea that covered with piercings, I should auction off hugs, to raise money for the charity. Not one of my brighter moments, but, the endorphins were running and I might have been a bit buzzed, and the bids are flying, more and more and my friends are pooling their resources, and this one individual bids a huge amount. I didn’t think twice. I said sold, and took the money for the charity. ”

As it turned out, this was a not good choice. He comes up on stage, I’ve got a live microphone in my hand, he grabs me and proceeds to rake his hands up and down my arms, right where the laces are. I cannot describe how much it hurt. Needles literally ripped out of my arms. Blood flowing down my arms, and, I’m on stage. Can’t cuss him out. Somebody jumps on stage and gets him off me. They take me off stage and somebody closes the show, they take out all the needles, that took a minute, clean me up, and apparently, someone from my family of choice had words with the guy, as he came to apologize profusely.

Henry’s mouth is open. He’s staring at me.

“What?”

“I would have killed him.”

“Darling boy. That’s so sweet of you to say, and I have no doubt that you would have thrashed him. But you can’t do that, you know.”

“ But it doesn’t change the way I feel, or how I believe it should be…”

“ I know. And your folks did a marvelous job raising all of you hellions. Your poor dear mother…. But that’s part of the price of your fame sweetheart. ”

“What do you mean? The price of my fame?”

“ Sweet dear wonderful man…..lets say you’re out at the pub, you have a couple of pints, right? Pints? Don’t you dare laugh because I don’t know what they’re called…. And you meet this lovely bird, and decide to put your World Famous Henry Cavill moves on her. She, being very smart in addition to attractive, goes for it, and Bob’s your uncle, you’re snogging in the alley , really playing tonsil hockey…

"Tonsil Hockey? Is that an American sport?”

I lobbed a pillow at him. “ Don’t interrupt. You’re all over each other, you’re working on sliding your hand under her jumper… And flash bulbs.”

“Or, you’re dating someone, you’ve been teasing the daylights out of each other all evening, and you pull her close and whisper in her ear that you can’t wait to get her home and stuff her full of your big fat cock. She positively MELTS, and says *Oh, God Daddy…” Just a little too loudly"

“Price. Of. Fame. “

“Lucky for you, darling, your fans are a devoted lot and they will destroy anyone or anything that they perceive has done you wrong. I almost feel bad for that radio hack who did SUCH a miserable interview with you, and then whined about it. That was what? Three movies ago? He is STILL being flogged. Speaking of flogged, let’s work on your technique.”

I found a job in Thailand, and was negotiating a start date for right around the time he went back to filming. I just hadn’t figured out how to actually make my exit.

I did what came naturally to me in difficult times. I got out the heavy weight paper, and the good pens and started to write.

“ Look, love, I’ve got to go. Its for the best, really. No woman worth you will start dating you with me lurking around, peeking out from behind potted palms. And I KNOW you want a family. A traditional one. Like everyone else in your family. You are perfect husband material, and you’re going to be the most doting dad that ever there was. I hope you have a daughter. She will wrap you around her finger like taffy. And enough boys for rugby, of course. You know I still want to be a part of your life, I just know that it may not be possible. I promise you will always know where to find me, and if you really need me, I will always have your six. Text me the phrase we agreed upon, and I will drop everything and be right at your side, as fast as I possibly can. Whenever, wherever. That’s my word bond to you. While I draw breath, I am yours. But, Hen, you must understand I love you far too much to keep you from your dreams, or worse, to have you wake one day and see those beautiful eyes tinted with regret or resentment. I couldn’t bear it.

Find a woman who loves you for you. If you retired, and built ships in bottles ( and how DO they do that, anyway?) She should love you just as much as if you were fifty feet tall in Times Square. Make sure she’s self entertaining. If you get lost on a quest, she needs to be able to find her own things to do, that she loves, and you’d best encourage those things. Share her passions like I know she will want to share yours. Don’t fall for that stalker shite, sugar. I know, I’m going to tease you about that till the Fourteenth of forever. That’s funny. Never let your PR people pick your dates. Somebody who’s rude to staff or servers or underlings NEVER EVER gets a second date. If KAL doesn’t like her, run away, FAST. Find a woman who makes you laugh. And who loves sex and intimacy as much as you do, and make sure she understands that those are two separate things. There will come a time when sex will not be as spontaneous, when you’ve got to work at making time to be a couple, and not mummy and daddy. Never take each other for granted. Appreciation and honest kind words go so far. Harsh words cause the deepest wounds, tear open the oldest scars. Be gentle with each other.

If you can, make her part of your team, and you of hers. Support her work enthusiastically. If you’re not worlds away, show up for her things, and the kids' things. Nothing is as adorable as the performances of small children, and before you know it, they won’t want to spend any time with you.

Always foster her independence. It gives her room to grow and she will never run out of ways to contribute.

If you give her more than three babies in four years, GET THE WOMAN SOME HELP. And for everyone’s sake a nice OLD lady, older than I am. There is no win in the mixture of post partum depression, struggling to get your figure back and some chippie in your house falling all over your husband and "stealing your children”. And that woman who comes to help? Her NDA better be tighter than a camel’s ass in a sandstorm.

I’m trying so hard to not forget anything. I know you and I know once you read this you’re going to be quite cross with me and I won’t hear from you for a while. You’ll be licking your wounds, as will I.”

I stepped out to smoke, it didn’t help.

This was going to be ugly crying. I blew my nose, splashed cold water on my face, and soldiered on. I picked up the pen, not even enjoying the feel of a good pen in my hand, unappreciative of its heft and balance, giving no fucks about the way it glided across the page. I might as well be writing in my own blood.

“Cross with me. My talent for understatement, I suppose. You’ll be furious. And I’m sorry. I know, its insulting and insufficient. But I am sorry. And you know I would use the fragments of my broken heart to mend yours, but I am not wizard enough to make this what it can never be.

I meant what I said. If you need me, I will be there. Be honest with her, about what part I play in your well being…. That at some point you may need to surrender your control. That even Daddies need Daddies. And for both your comfort and your honor, I can promise not to annihilate your marriage vows while providing that for you. You CAN do what it is we do with out sex. It just isn’t as fun.

I don’t think now that you’ve opened Pandora’s box that it will close easily. I believe the things you’ve found there resonate too deeply for you to just dismiss them. It is why you came looking in the first place, because you knew that those pieces were missing, there were voids to be filled. But remember, you can’t play these reindeer games with everyone. This can’t get out, can’t be public, so be careful. I know your heart, I have the measure of you. I have no concerns that you’ll be callous or unnecessarily cruel. You’ll find that edge and ride it like some fucking prize stallion in a steeplechase, but you won’t ever be abusive and there will always be love and passion behind what you do, its who you are.

Thank you my dearest, for allowing me the opportunity to pass on my skills, and my knowledge. The people that taught me would be so pleased to meet you, to see your heart, your passion, your skill. Bless you for letting me tell you my stories. I know now that they will not disappear. You will never know how much of a gift that was for me, and I can never repay you.

All my love in this life and the next…..”

And I signed it.

I folded it and put it in the envelope, and started gathering my things. Time was running out.

I sent a box or two back to the States, made arrangements for someone to look after my house, and researched flights. I could be in Bangkok in less than three days, and with a negative Covid test, no quarantine. Going back to work would get me out of my own head, and I knew, if I stayed there; in my head, very bad things were in store for me. They had sent my visas, my work documentation, my offer letter, and an open ended return ticket. Most of what I needed I could obtain when I got there, and the idea of having a custom tailored wardrobe was very appealing. Plus, it is a rainforest jungle. Shorts and t shirts, wraps, sandals, not much more than that, really. Maybe a swimsuit or two. With my vacation days I could see all the places on my bucket list and/or do medical tourism.

It’s funny, to be gone for this long and have it not be that big of a deal, in a pandemic. No one was even looking for me.

Now I needed to start working on the Long Goodbye.

When he came home that evening I had dinner waiting. Kal’s dinner too.

I wasn’t fucking around. Soft lights, candles, that red wine he liked, I wasn’t going to miss a trick. I was all put together, everything shaved, lotioned, make up that looked like I hadn’t any make up. I mean, I can’t do fresh faced anymore. During dinner we talked and I worked so hard not to lose it completely. I smiled and laughed in the appropriate places, held up my end of the conversation. At the conclusion of the meal I started to tidy up and he followed me into the kitchen. Music was playing and I was humming as I did the dishes. I didn’t realize he was leaning against the doorway, watching me.

He crossed the space in just a few steps, one arm at my waist and spun me around to face him. I squeaked, startled. He smiled and pulled me in for a kiss, took my hand and danced around the kitchen with me …… Henry singing in my ear “Ooooh, I been missing you

###

And the way you make me feel inside

What can I do? I can tell you’ve got your pride now, baby

Come to me (oh well, oh well)

Let me ease your mind (oh babe)

I’ve got the remedy, yes I do

Now give me just a little time

(Here in my mind, Girl, I wanna shake you down)

I wanna rock you down

(I can give you all the lovin you need)

I’m gonna love you

(Come on let me take you down)

Oh well or well

(We’ll go all the way to heaven)”

* Gregory Abbott “ Shake You Down” ###

I was pulled up tight against him, one of his legs in between mine as we slow danced, my head on his shoulder, I was practically purring. Back in the day we called that cock dragging. He led magnificently, I didn’t think about how clumsy I usually was or where my feet were going, he just guided me around the kitchen singing to me, dancing. I looked up at him, lost in those deep soulful eyes….

” You were three when this song came out" I laughed.

“ I have several older brothers and the music you love brings back great memories. ” As the song ended he dipped me, practically to the floor, and I didn’t panic. His strong arms had me. I was secure and knew I wouldn’t fall.

Well, not from being dipped. He ran his tongue up my sternum, between my breasts, up my neck to finally claim my mouth.

[gallickingun]

I’m really soft for the idea of having to use your safe word with Bakugou and he immediately snaps into the most nurturing boyfriend. He’s gone from pounding into you and slapping you around, to holding you to his chest and stroking your hair. He’d run you a bath and while you soaked in there he’d make you some comfort food which he’d feed you later in bed.

a/n: this got p long so i’m putting it under a read more!  tw: degradation

It’s all too much.

“I want to hear you beg for my perfect cock, you little slut,” his lips are curling and all you can see is your own self-hatred reflected to you in his carmine irises. A slap resounds against your cheek but it’s hard to process, save for the way your face turns into the pillow. Bakugou’s hand drifts from your jaw to your throat, encasing the tender muscles within his grasp and squeezing.

You start to see stars when you hear him say, “I said beg, you pathetic bitch, or else I’ll have to punish you for not listening.”

Your heart is pounding, your eyes are pouring tears, and your thighs are starting to clench to the point of pain that no longer feels like pulsing pleasure. You can barely find it in you to form words because your tongue feels warped and heavy within your mouth, but the second you manage to force that very special phrase out of your teeth, the whole world stops spinning.

Bakugou’s hand loosens against your throat and his hips still, buried to the hilt within you, the domineering mask slipping from his expression, “S-Say it again.”

You’re embarrassed, but you repeat the phrase, a choking sob breaking it up in the middle. You turn your head into the pillow so you don’t have to look at him when his face twists in anger or frustration, your hands covering what visibly remains of your face so he can’t see your crumpled features.

“Hey,” Bakugou’s voice is uncharacteristically soft and the sound of it makes you whimper. He doesn’t pull out of you, not yet, because he’s afraid the sudden change might bring another round of emotions to the surface, “Come back to me, princess, I’m right here.”

The gentle way his fingers circle around your wrists could make you cry for another reason entirely, and the crooning of his deep voice in your ear makes your toes curl. You clench your jaw in favor of looking up at him, focusing on the pain that is now throbbing in your gums. Your cheek still stings from the smack you received not but moments prior to your outcry, and you wonder if the skin is as red as you think it might be.

“D-Do you want me to pull out?” His voice is timid, and timid is not something well-known to Bakugou Katsuki. You are shaking your head adamantly, begging with your hands twisting in his grip to hold him by the forearms, eyes wild as you finally glance up at him, “P-Please don’t leave me.”

Bakugou is hushing you, curling his body further into you so he is filling you to the base of him, his knees tucking tightly against your hips and his arms circling around your shoulders to hold you close.

“I’m right here,” he repeats the sentiment from earlier, kisses against your temple. You swear you feel the telltale sign of damp tears against your skin and hair, but you don’t have the wherewithal to take much notice. His cock twitches withing your core and it’s comforting somehow, in tandem with the way he is kissing over your face and running the tip of his nose against your skin, providing you with all the tactile relief he can muster, “I’m not going anywhere, princess, I’m right here.”

He repeats that phrase several times, until your breathing has gone from erratic to something much more calm. Bakugou kisses the space on your chest where your heart would be, “Just breathe, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay. Come back down, I’m right here.”

Your palms press against his chest and he’s taken aback at the sudden contact, irises widening to swallow his pupils. He brushes your hair from your eyes, noting how you flinch at the sight of his hand so close to your face, and his soul cracks in half. Bakugou’s voice is wavering as he whispers, “I-I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

You are shaking your head and trying to keep him from apologizing, but he tucks your head into his chest and rolls to the side so he can cradle you within the cage of his arms, “Don’t.”

Bakugou’s fingertips sift through your hair and down your neck, massaging at the base of your scalp and shoulders. You can hear something akin to humming in your ear, and after a few moments, you realize that Bakugou is singing. A new set of tears well up in your eyes, but you dig yourself further into the cavity of his shoulder, your nose tucked against his throat so you can breathe in his scent.

“I love you,” he grits out the words, kissing your temple, “I hope you know that.”

You tilt your head back so you can look him in the eyes, tears still settled in your lids and caked on your lashes, “I love you too, Katsuki.”

A smile graces his features, and you swear you’ve seen the sun. Pushing yourself up with the gentle movement of your legs, you rub your noses together, closing your eyes as he connects your foreheads, “I’m gonna run you a bath, okay? Help you wash up.”

Your hand reaches upward to cup his cheek, closing your eyes so you can drink in the closeness you have with him at this very moment in time. Your whole body is warm, and your mind is in a haze as you come down from your emotionally spiked high. You can’t help it as you angle your head just enough to meld your lips to his.

The action takes Bakugou by surprise at first, and he doesn’t react to your kissing. You start to pull back once you’ve realized that he isn’t reciprocating, but he’s caught you before you can retreat. He winds his arms around your shoulders and tilts his head forward to capture your lips once again. He is firm, but not so much so that you feel trapped, but rather you feel safe.

Bakugou gathers you up in his arms, gently unsheathing himself from you to cause less stinging at the sudden change of stretch, and walks you into the bathroom. You’re deposited on the counter while he runs the bath water, trying to get the tub to the perfect temperature before transferring you into the sudsy pool. He’s careful as he washes your hair, dipping your head back into the fragrant bubbles and massaging your scalp. 

He stands to his feet once your hair has been rinsed, the bubbles floating around your body popping once they come into contact with your skin. With one last pass through your hair, he retracts his fingers, “I”m going to go make dinner, okay? Let you soak in here a minute longer without me sitting up your ass.”

A giggle parts your lips, and there is a pressure lifted from his chest that he did not realize he was harboring. He clutches at his heart, wrapping his fingers around his pectoral so he can make sure the organ is still beating. The pounding thud against his palm gives him relief and then a smile takes over.

The next time he sees you is when you’re fumbling down the stairs, your body clad in one of his old merch designs, a shirt that falls down to your thighs, just enough to cover your ass. Bakugou smirks, knowing full well that you can make anything look this good.

“What do you want? Action, comedy, romance, or anime?” Bakugou carries two plates of spicy meat and rice to the coffee table where he’s already set up drinks and snacks to go along with dinner. You settle on a comedy movie and he pulls you into his lap, your back pressed against his chest so he can spoon feed you dinner, your headspace still recovering from earlier. The affectionate gesture seems to be over the top, but you are not one to tell Bakugou no when it comes to expressing his admiration to you through his actions. 

It is hours later when you are drifting off to sleep, your head on Katsuki’s chest, and you hear that same tune from earlier being sung into your ears, the vibrations in his chest only furthering your lull into sleep. Bakugou is brushing his fingers against the dated t-shirt in various patterns, the warmth radiating from his body dredging your mind into a sedated state.

“Hey,” he calls to you, bringing your attention to his face with a knuckle crooked underneath your chin. A kiss is pressed to your forehead, and when he pulls away, his voice is gentle, “Where’s my girl?”

You cannot help the dopey grin that tugs on your lips, wriggling your way closer to him so you can rub your nose against his, “I’m right here, ‘Suki.”

And you seal the promise of your presence with a kiss before falling back against his embrace, allowing him to hold together your broken pieces as if he were human glue. The final thing you notice just before you drift into the realm of unconsciousness is the song being sung in your ear.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you keep me happy when skies are gray. Don’t you know dear, how much I love you? Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

-

a/n: wow that got sappy real quick. i hope this was what you were wanting!

[lindzaylove]

goodnight

A Kook’s Perspective series

word count: 4.1k

trigger warnings: underage drinking, bad ending, this gif (idk what to put for the gif i’m SORRY - he's cute though), it's pretty long tbh

taglist: @ashleyj27 @pogueslandia @slutforapsycho @maybankforlife @teelagurl558 @glitterandpankow @slut4jj @ghostyjosty @ohsorandomlyme

gif by: @lovecafes

the silence in your kitchen was not at all how it sounded over a month ago now. it caused a stinging sensation at the back of your eyes, one you were all too familiar with. you had to force yourself not to follow through just to relieve the sting.

your parents hadn't mentioned the absence of Rafe from the house, nor the fact that you'd left with him and then come back with Kiara. they didn't mention how you wouldn't leave your room that first day after, that staying in bed seemed to be the only comfort you had. your mom brought you meals and your dad bought you your favorite candy.

they knew. you knew they knew. there was no way you could hide it.

when the second day had come, and no visit from the blue-eyed boy came to ease your pain, you fell apart completely. you spent the whole day crying. sad tears, angry tears, frustration tears. you went through every emotion possible.

he was yours, you realized. even if there was no label. even if there was no big announcement to your friends or family. he was yours. you had fallen in love with his family. you'd begun falling in love with him. that month together, the longest and shortest four weeks of your life, meant something. it meant that you were each other's, even if neither of you could put the label on it.

your person was honestly so close, just less than a ten minute drive, and neither of you were going to make it. you, because you weren't the one in the wrong. him, because he was.

now here you were, sitting in a silent kitchen as you ate a bowl of cereal. the silence was external, your mind was replaying a Chase Atlantic song repeatedly. you hadn't listened to their music in over a week, just before going to the party with Rafe. the song, Right Here, was deafening in your head. it took you back to that late night in his truck; it had played just before you'd said goodnight.

you had school. your dad was out for a long weekend, your mom with him. you were completely, utterly, alone. you moved in silence, barely a squeak of the chair as you pushed it in. the sound of the water rinsing out your bowl filled the entire house. you thought about the times Rafe helped you with the dishes, questioning you on why plates got done before bowls and why bowls were done before cups. it was a painful memory, the teasing he did when he would specifically wash a fork before a plate while you were drying the dishes next to him.

it was supposed to hurt less if you never admitted he was yours or that you were his, let alone that you loved him. somehow it hurt more that people probably thought you were some fling, some girl he used and discarded. it wasn't true, you heard the way he told you that he wanted to be a cop, you heard the way he talked about his dad, you heard the way he told you that you were it for him.

"if nothing in this world goes right for me, at least i'll always have you."

you dropped your bowl in the sink, the warm water now run cold over your skin. you grabbed your keys and backpack after drying off your hands, prepared to go to school. you didn't want to. it was a school filled with kooks. and from a kook's perspective, you were sure you were just another girl to the kook king.

you were adamant that you weren't, but...

that didn't stop you from driving to the chateau. John B.'s van was still parked outside and you knew he wasn't going to school today. you knew he was probably still asleep. you needed something to do, to keep your hands busy. the first day back at school was all syllabi and get to know each other games, something that could not fill your mind with anything other than Rafe Cameron. at John B.'s, there would probably be dishes that needed done and beer to drink.

the chateau also wasn't filled with memories of Rafe.

"don't you have school?" John B. asked, ruffling his hair. "what are you doing here?"

"only people like Pope and Kie go to the first day of classes," you commented, pulling a cold beer out of the fridge. "did you want one?"

"it's like eight in the morning," John B. stopped messing with his hair to look at you. you shrugged and closed the fridge door. "you know, you used to always complain about us missing school. and day drinking."

"day drinking is more fun, i've come to realize," you took a drink. "i'm only skipping today, so chill out."

"are you...okay?"

"i'm fine, John B.. honestly," you turned the water on in his sink. "i just came to help you clean up a little bit. just go back to sleep or whatever you were doing."

"JJ's in the spare room," John B. advised before going into the bathroom. you set to work doing the dishes, which were quite a bit more than you were expecting. with little sips of beer from time to time, it took you almost an hour and a half to wash as many dishes as possible, dry them, then do the next set of dishes. for a boy who lived alone, he had way too many dirty dishes in his sink. thankfully, though, it occupied your mind the entire time.

you needed more, considering it was only now coming up on ten in the morning when you finished putting all the dishes away. on your second beer, you started organizing and cleaning the kitchen as a whole. you swept, picked up some trash, and wiped down the counters. it wasn't a big kitchen, but it sure did need some cleaning.

also, John B. had like zero food in the fridge. how he managed, you had no idea.

it wasn't until around noon that you moved on to the living room. you didn't start immediately, fourth beer in hand as you looked around the place. the living room, above everything else, was ultimately a shit show. not only were there empty beer cans, cups, and bottles, but miscellaneous clothes and food scattered about the couch and floor. before you could sit your beer down to start throwing things into the already nearly full trash can, JJ came out of the spare bedroom.

"oh, hey," JJ said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. he was leaning in the doorway, staring at you. "when did you get here?"

"like eight," you shrugged. "John B. woke up when i came in but he went back into his room."

"you could have woken me up," he yawned, going to the kitchen. he paused at the entry way. "did you spend four hours cleaning?"

"you guys had nearly two hours worth of dishes, honestly. I also cleaned out the fridge and cabinets, so there's really only a twelve pack in there, and i'm on my fourth one," you held up your beer to him. "you can go grab lunch though...." you trailed off, giving him puppy dog eyes.

he rolled his eyes in response, grabbing a beer of his own, "i think we can just spend the day drinking."

"without food, i'll really get wasted," you laughed, but made no further comment on lunch. JJ did not go back to bed, but rather started helping you clean. it felt good to have someone filling up the empty space you'd been carrying around.

it would never be completely full without him, but it was something. something was better than nothing.

time slipped away from you as you and JJ danced around the living room. you were playing mini games of horse as you threw things into the trash can. JJ was singing in some goofy voice, dancing like an idiot. you were smiling at him, damn near a laugh. it felt good to be happy, to be hanging out with your friend again. it was three in the afternoon once the living room was finally cleaned up and the two of you had fallen onto the couch.

you two were done with the twelve pack now, your cans long empty and sitting on the mountain of trash overflowing from the trash can. JJ had said something. you were laughing now, though you weren't sure if what JJ had said was actually funny. JJ was laughing too, far less drunk than you. your brain didn't pull you into a depressed state under the influence, and you couldn't care less about Rafe Cameron as you just hung out on the couch.

well, until Sarah Cameron came into the room, Pope and Kie not far behind.

"Y/N? were you here all day?" Sarah asked, dropping her bookbag next to the couch.

"yup," you nodded. "i cleaned and everything."

"translation: she's pretty drunk," JJ pointed out as John B. left his room. he was dressed now, looking much more awake than this morning. you smiled, nodding. your mind was barely focusing on the conversation.

"i had a good time. a great time even."

"i've known her longer than you two have, and she's never had more than a couple beers at any of the parties i've seen her at on Figure 8," Sarah pointed out.

"even with us she just gets tipsy," Pope nodded in agreement. you, hanging out with JJ on the couch still, suddenly went to stand. your balance was gone, sending you back onto the couch and in a fit of giggles.

"have you talked to Rafe?" JJ stood, letting you lay on the couch.

"no, he doesn't talk to anyone. dad and Rose tried to ask about what happened, but he just took his truck and left. he has slammed the door on Wheeze a couple times when she asks about Y/N. it's so weird compared to the last month," Sarah confessed.

you'd laid down on the couch, but your heart was racing as Sarah spoke. everything crashed around you. all the walls you'd put up, the way you'd cleared your mind of him for the past eight hours. nothing. it meant nothing. the ache in your chest consumed you. your brain couldn't fathom anything other than his name.

Rafe Cameron. Rafe Cameron. RafeCameron. RafeCameronRafeCameronRafeCameron.

he should have gone looking for you immediately. he should have told her about you, he should have showed her all the pictures on his phone. god, your phone. you didn't delete the photos. you two were still your lock screen as well as home screen. it was off, somewhere in your car probably. you wanted to call him. you wanted to hear his voicemail at least, he probably wouldn't answer if you called.

"they both aren't doing too hot," JJ sighed, leaning on the wall. "i know none of us particularly like him, but she was happier with him."

"are we surprised this happened though?" Kie stated. you sat up slowly, tears filling up your sight. "i mean, i told her that nothing would come from him."

"you were wrong," you mumbled. everyone's eyes were on you. "everything came from him. he was sunshine on the cloudy days, the cool breeze when it got a little too hot, the laughter that filled the silence. he was so happy, so calm, so put together. at night, when we were alone, his defense walls fell and i saw all of him. i started to love him. i love him now. and this pain comes from him, so loving him doesn't mean nothing. something is better than nothing. anything."

"Y/N," Kie started, but you cut her off again.

"Kiara, i mean it with everything in me. i love him," you wiped at your eyes. "it was the best damn month of my life. the god damn best."

it was silent for a moment all around the room.

"i'm gonna go home now."

"no driving," John B. and Pope said simultaneously, but you were up and on your way to your car. they were taking your keys and keeping you from your car.

"oh my god, fine! fine! i'll walk!" you yelled, swinging JJ's arm off of you and taking your phone from him. Kie was still in the chateau as you walked away from them.

your body ached, like you'd ran a marathon. your headache was getting worse with each step. it was a long walk to Figure 8, but at least you had sobered up a little. your mind started playing Right Here again. you couldn't help but laugh to yourself. the story was shit, you realized. but it was a song that meant too much to you for you to just never hear it again. you missed your room suddenly, the comfort it gave. your record was up there, waiting to be played. it had been a while and you yearned for it.

of course Rafe would give you the best birthday gift in the world, next to when you had gotten the actual record player.

you turned your phone back on to see only a few Instagram notifications and a missed call from your mom. you swiped them all away, leaving you with your lock screen. you and Rafe had taken a million pictures together it seemed. looking back now, you were so grateful that you continuously took pictures and videos of him. it was all your mind could handle at the moment. you were looking at your lock screen when his contact shows up, a Chase Atlantic song playing.

he was calling you. you froze on the side of the road, not sure what to do. did you answer it? was it time to talk to him finally? would he sound okay or broken? did he feel the same pain you felt? or were you crazy, the only one who felt anything that month. you answered it, even if it would hurt. a solid good bye would bring you some closure. eventually. maybe.

"Y/N?" he sounded breathless, like he'd just stopped a workout at the gym or a run on the beach. you stayed silent, not trusting your voice.

"are you- where are you?" he asked. if you were being honest, you didn't know. your mind had been more focused on distance than location.

"why are you calling me, Rafe?" you asked, voice hoarse like you'd not spoken fifteen minutes ago. you felt like you'd just seen a ghost, frozen in shock.

but God, it felt so good to hear him say your name.

"Sarah called me," he said after a moment of silence. "she's worried about you. they are all worried about you."

you stayed silent, waiting for him to say it. you waited, your heart racing with each breath coming through the phone. he had to care about you, didn't he? it was a month, a whole month.

"i can come get you," Rafe said instead, the jingle of car keys echoing. you looked around, finally finding a street sign.

"where are you, Y/N?" his voice was softer now, like you were a fragile thing on the verge of breaking. you were completely broken already, and you were ashamed of it. through tears you told him where you were, and he stayed on the line the whole ride over to you.

you didn't move, even as you saw the familiar truck pull up next to you. he was facing the wrong way on the road, hazards not even on. his door was thrown wide open, nearly swinging shut by how harshly he opened it. it brought your mind back to when you'd slammed his door shut that first night, making him complain. but now? he'd thrown the door open so hard it damn near shut on him as he got out.

he was quick to hop out too, but he was standing in front of you now. neither of you made a move toward one another. you found it funny how during Midsummers you'd wanted nothing more than for his hands to be all over your body. you wondered if he was thinking of all the times he'd touched you, kissed you, felt you. he was an arm's length away and he was just standing there. frozen. eyes stuck right on you.

"why were you so rude that night?" you asked, a deep breath following. you knew it was stupid to be hung up on a party that happened years ago, you just needed to know. it had eaten at you ever since, was literally the sole reason you didn't like him until you became friends with the pogues. even now, with what had happened recently, you wanted an answer for that night instead. "at Sarah's sixteenth birthday party. you were rude to me."

"what?"

"at her party, i spoke to you in the kitchen. you stared at me, rolled your eyes, and left."

"don't you know what you said?" he asked, an emotion on his face you weren't familiar with. in fact, you didn't know what you had said. you didn't know what had made him react like that. you shook your head gently, acknowledging that the first thing you had ever said to him did not live in your mind the way it seemed to his.

"Y/N, you told me that if you could be anywhere else in the world right then, you think you'd still be there. that everything happens for a reason. that life doesn't make mistakes and that no matter how little fun you were having, our kitchen wasn't too bad a place to have to be," Rafe reminded you. it came back to you in a flash, like you'd shut it out of your mind. Rafe had been on the phone to someone when he'd entered the kitchen, complaining about his dad dragging him to some Cameron Development meeting and how he'd rather be anywhere else in the world. he hung up as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, which you'd gravitated toward in the few moments he'd entered. you two made eye contact as he scanned the pink around the walls.

you did say that to him. he'd paused, and rolled his eyes. you could imagine now why he had. you were some girl at his little sisters party saying something completely out of line. all the disdain for him from that night slipped away. really, all the disdain you held onto was slowly slipping away the more you looked at him. the more he looked at you.

"Rafe, i-"

"i'm sorry," he said, cutting you off. "at the Boneyard, with that girl. she told me she knew someone who was into Top and i figured i could help him find someone really into him so that he wouldn't be sleeping with every girl and her best friend. you were having a good time, i didn't want to come bother you with some girl who i knew wasn't going anywhere with me. i just brushed it off when she kissed me because it seemed like her friend and Topper were getting on well. then i saw you hugging Kie and i didn't know what had happened."

"what...what were we, Rafe?" you felt yourself getting choked up.

"everything. we were everything," he cleared his throat. "i want that. i want you, again. forever."

"Rafe-"

"i want to travel the country with you. i want to visit you at school. i want to actually take over Cameron Development and provide for you. i know it seems like we're so young, but Y/N we moved so fast and i-" he paused, cutting himself off like he'd said too much already.

"you what?" you asked, tears streaming down your face as you looked at him.

"i love you."

you were staring at each other still, no movement. you reached for him then, and him you. your lips were on him and it was like it was all worth it. yes, you were young. you had so many years ahead of you to fall in love. it happened so fast you barely knew it happened at all. love. you loved Rafe Cameron. maybe you two were just kids right now, and maybe the relationship wouldn't go on forever, but you knew you would always love him, with the way he held your heart in his hands.

he pulled back first, taking your head in his hands. he wiped your tears with his thumb, a smile coming to his lips. you were so happy you could die, right at that moment. it was ridiculous how much you felt in that moment. you knew you could live without him. you didn't need him, you understood that. but it was Rafe. it was him. it was him from probably the first time you two had ever met. after all, like you'd said, nothing happens without good reason.

you two stayed silent as you got into the truck. there was nothing either of you could find to say to one another. the truck had been running the whole time, but it was silent. you were staring at Rafe as he got in, knowing he hated driving in silence. and yet, no music was playing. he grabbed his phone off the center console and began playing Call Me Back by, of course, Chase Atlantic. it was a song you were familiar with, it was on the vinyl Rafe had gotten you. it was calming to hear the familiar voices in the familiar truck with a familiar person.

when you made it back to your house, it finally clicked how late it had gotten. you did miss school, smelled of alcohol, and had been crying. you didn't have your car or your bookbag. it was just about four in the afternoon but it felt like midnight. all your pent up sadness and frustration, as well as the terrible pain of being angry with Kie, was exhausting. you couldn't imagine fighting with Rafe ever again this had hurt so bad.

"your dad is going to kill me when i come in," Rafe said, looking up at the house.

"yeah, probably," you told him, leaning forward a bit to look as well. the lights were off upstairs, but the kitchen light was on. "maybe you can win them over by helping with dinner while i take a shower."

"you're going to leave me alone with them?" he turned to you suddenly, making you chuckle at his exasperation.

"i smell like beer. i need a shower."

Rafe was perfectly healthy when you joined your family for dinner, washed and clean. your mom kept staring at you and Rafe's physical affection while your dad was just trying to not look up at all from his plate. you would have to explain it all later, but you felt better knowing Rafe wasn't ever going anywhere.

"so, Rafe," your dad said as a silence fell over the end of the meal. Rafe's hand that was on your thigh tightened it's grip as he swallowed his food.

"yes sir?"

"are you staying the night? we did your laundry because.... we have clean clothes for you to sleep in if you're staying."

"yeah. yeah, i'll stay. uhm, thank you," Rafe said, grabbing his glass to drink. the poor boy was shaking. it was quite amusing to you however.

you and Rafe eventually made it upstairs to your room, door now allowed to be closed when the two of you were in there. he was sitting on your bed and you were standing in between his legs. each of you had wrapped your arms around the other and Rafe's head was pressed against your torso. it was like the past week had never happened, that all was well once again.

"hey, Y/N?" Rafe mumbled. you moved a hand up to his head to play with his hair.

"hm?"

"will you be my girlfriend?" he pulled back to look up at you.

"after the month and a half i've had?" you titled your head as if in thought. he pulled you closer by his grip on your waist. "of course, Mr. Cameron." you yawned just before you leaned down to kiss him.

"are you tired?" he asked, holding your face in the palm of his hand. "we can go to sleep now."

"it's so early."

"you had a long day, come on," Rafe stood up to pull your blanket back. the two of you climbed into bed and got as close as you could be to one another. he was yours now, officially, and there was no way you were going to fall asleep without being against him.

"i love you, Rafe."

"i love you, Y/N."

"goodnight," you two spoke at the same time. you two also drifted to sleep in sync, both dreaming of a future traveling the country with Chase Atlantic playing.

[imagininglotsofthings]

Bucky Barnes x Reader: Mystery Fever (Extended)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem reader

Word Count: 1,715

Summary:

 I extended this from last night. 

 Okay, this blog is anonymous, but I wanted to write this. I have this ultra-rare condition called Nephropathic Cystinosis, and it is discussed in this one-shot. Not in great detail, but it is. And Cystinosis Fever is a thing that has happened to me. It’s possible I’ll continue with this sort of thing....Let me know if you want more. For the moment it’s a reader insert, but may turn into something else. 

*******************************************************************************************

Y/N sat at the kitchen table in the Avengers compound, in the shared kitchen and she didn’t feel quite right. She got up to fill her water when Bucky walked in.

He smiled upon seeing her. “Hey, doll.” His grin widened as he walked over to her and curled a hand around her waist, placing a chaste kiss to her lips, which he immediately noticed were chapped. And her skin felt too warm under his touch, the body heat radiating off of her was more than was usual for her. He pulled back slightly and pressed his lips to her forehead, letting them linger there much longer than necessary. She knew exactly what he was doing but didn’t say anything, she knew he was trying to hide it under the guise of a forehead kiss.

Then he frowned and dropped all pretense, pressing his flesh hand to her forehead. His frown deepened. “Doll, you’re warm. Really warm.” He moved his hand from her head to her cheek and she leaned into his touch, humming slightly at how good it felt against her overheated skin. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

She looked up at her boyfriend, bleary eyed, and smiled softly. They had only officially been an item for a couple of weeks. Before that, they had been going out about a month, and two weeks ago, Bucky had asked her to be his girl. He was protective before that, but after, it was like some sort of primal need of his that he couldn’t control. The need to protect her, take care of her, and keep her safe always there. And the fact that his girlfriend had an ultra-rare and potentially dangerous disease just made the urge even stronger. Bucky knew that Y/N had Nephropathic Cystinosis. A lysosomal storage disease. A genetic, metabolic condition that caused fifteen secondary conditions in Y/N’s case. There were only a few others in the compound that knew. Tony, Pepper, and Steve. Bucky looked almost ashamed when he didn’t know what it was, but she assured Bucky most doctors didn’t even know. About 2,500 people in the world had it. Then she went on to explain it to him. After that, he was determined to learn all he could about it, how it affected her, to go to her doctor’s appointments with her (when he could and when the next one came up), you name it. She realized this was something she’d never really discussed with him before, because well, it hadn’t come up yet. And this hadn’t happened to her in a quite a while.

“I think…” she mumbled, and Bucky waited for her to continue. “We used to call it Cystinosis fever when I was younger.”

His heart did a little lurch. Cystinosis fever? There was a specific fever his girl could get with this condition? “What’s that?” he mumbled.

“It’s an unexplainable, sudden onset fever. It can last a couple hours or a couple days, never really sure.”

He nodded slowly. “What else happens, other than the fever?”

“Depends. It’s different every time. Headache, nausea, cough, exhaustion, dizziness…” she trailed off and leant her head against his chest and gripped his forearms. He though she was feeling some dizziness now. He rubbed her back and then sat her down in the nearest chair.

“I’m gonna take your temperature.”

“Bucky, I can take my own-“ but he’d already walked off to get the thermometer from her room. He was back in a flash and knelt down in front of her.

“Open up,” he said and she obediently opened her mouth so he could place the thermometer beneath her tongue. A minute or so later it beeped and he removed it, looking down at the numbers. “102.2,” he mumbled, glancing up at her. “Alright, come on.” He hoisted her into his arms. “I’ll take care of you. Let’s get you to bed.”

Tony walked by at that moment and smirked, as usual his mind in the gutter. “Feeling frisky, Barnes?”

“Shut up, Tony,” he grumbled, his face going slightly pink. Bucky and Y/N hadn’t even been intimate like that yet, and he couldn’t help the flush on his cheeks, nor could his girlfriend. “Y/N’s not feeling well.”

Tony’s features softened. “What’s up, kid?”

“Little fever, I’ll be fine.”

“Well sure, with the bionic man to take care of you, those germs better run if they know what’s good for them.”

Even Bucky couldn’t help but smile a little at that.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you hand me that bottle of water?”

“Sure.” He handed Y/N the bottle and she held it carefully.

“Need any help, Barnes?”

There was hint of a glare in Bucky’s eyes as he looked back at him. “I can handle this, Stark, thanks.”

Extended ‘Ending’

Bucky deposited Y/N gently onto the bed, and took the bottle of water from her, setting it on the nightstand. She had been dozing and looked around. “This is your room,” she mumbled, though she curled up on the bed as Bucky pulled his sheets over her and tucked them in around her. 

“I know,” he said, another light blush dusting his cheeks. “It was the closest to the kitchen.” 

“Thank you,” she said, a yawn parting her lips. 

“Sure.” He smoothed her hair back. “What else do you need?” 

“Nothing, I just...” she paused, and Bucky leaned forward a bit, but Y/N threw the covers off and Bucky moved out of the way she ran to his en suite bathroom. He followed and saw her bent over the toilet, vomiting up the little that was in her stomach. He walked up behind her and crouched down, gathering her hair in his hand to keep it out of her face, rubbing her back. It took several more minutes before she stopped and stood up, wiping at her eyes with her right hand. Unfortunately, since learning about her medical condition, and being trusted enough by her to let him see these parts of her life, he’d seen her throw up several times. And every time, her eyes would tear like crazy.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, still rubbing her back. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, walking over to his sink and splashing cold water on her face, then grabbing a cup and rinsing her mouth. The sad thing was, she meant it. To her, this wasn’t a big deal. She got sick like this (threw up) several times a week. She told him that for years there she threw up every single day. To Bucky, though, it was. To see his girl bent over the toilet, throwing up the little contents that was usually in her stomach. It was often nearly a fight to get her to eat, this condition affected her appetite, too. 

“Right,” Bucky mumbled, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it, then ringing it out. “Come on, doll, lay back down.”

She did as he said and laid back down in his bed, and he again pulled the sheets over her, then knelt down in front of her and dabbed her face, forehead and neck with the wet cloth. This was something that he learned made her feel better, even when she claimed she was fine. As she had a tendency to do, often to Bucky’s dismay, She hummed and closed her eyes and he placed the cloth down. “It’s right next to you if you need it.” She nodded, “What else do you need?”

“Where’s my water?” she mumbled, opening her eyes. 

“I’ve got it.” He grabbed the bottle and opened it. She smiled some and shook her head gently as he held it to her lips. “Bucky I can..” He shrugged and she rolled her eyes playfully, then took a big gulp and then another. This was something else Bucky had learned. For her, Cystinosis caused chronic dehydration. Which meant she was always, always thirsty. She took another big gulp. 

“Doll, stop,” he said softly, gently pulling the bottle away from her mouth, a trickle of water falling down her chin. She went to wipe it away but Bucky beat her to it. “You’ll make yourself sick again.” 

She huffed out an irritated sigh, but didn’t argue. ”Alright, it’s right here. Don’t make yourself sick, alright?”

She nodded. 

“Okay, what else do you need?” 

She nibbled her bottom lip. 

“What is it?”

“Can you stay with me?”

Bucky was confused. “Of course, that’s what I was going to-”

“No, I mean, in here.” She gestured to the bed. “I just...” she hesitated, suddenly shy. “I want to...cuddle. Want you to hold me. That would make me feel better.” 

Bucky smiled, his whole being feeling warm and his heart swelling with affection and....was it love? The word scared him, but he didn’t overthink it or even mention it out loud, he didn’t want to scare Y/N off, not with saying that so soon.

“Sure, babydoll, of course.” She smiled up at him, her cheeks a light pink. 

“I’ll make you something to eat later.”

Her nose wrinkled.

“Later,” he repeated with a grin, and she nodded. “I’ll make the soup my mom used to make when me or Steve were sick. Mostly Steve.” She gazed up at him with a smile, her eyes full of affection, as well.

“I love to cook,” she muttered, turning her face into the pillow.

“I know, doll, but not today, okay?”

She sighed. “Alright. Overprotective,” she muttered, but he could hear the smirk in her voice. He was, he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself.

“For you, yeah.”

He took off his shoes and his long sleeve shirt (there was a shirt underneath it) , but left everything else on. He wasn’t sure they were quite there yet. Then he moved to the other side of the bed, hesitated a moment, and lifted his covers, crawling in behind her. His arm draped over her waist and his other hand went to her hair, scratching lightly and soothingly at her scalp until she fell asleep in his arms. And though he didn’t want his girl to feel sick, he loved holding her like this, and hoped there would be many more chances in the future to do just that. He kissed her top of her head, but stayed up to watch over her. His girl, his little warrior. 

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

seeing as I'm doing a bit of burnout recovery, I'm gonna take a moment to share some helpful mental health tips about looking after yourself during hard times

they're just small simple things but they can make a bit of a difference, especially in regards to food and hygiene

feel free to add your own little tricks and tips if you have any, not everything works for everyone so the more variety the better ~

keep your morning medication and a bottle of water next to your bed, if you can't make yourself get up, at least you can have your pills on time

if you're struggling to eat, any food is good food, if you can only eat half a muesli bar, that's a win, the ones with nuts are especially good because they're full of good fats, I like the chocolate/peanut ones ~

nutrient drinks like Up&Gos or any kind of breakfast drink are great, some of them don't need to be refrigerated so you can keep them by your bed if you need to eat or drink something with your morning pills (this may depend on what is/isn't available in your local shops)

lunchbox foods, small packaged things you'd send a kid to school with, fruit cups last a long time in the fridge compared to fresh fruit, and kids squeezy pouches of yogurt are easier to eat than the little tubs

if your anxiety is so bad you can't keep any solids down, try baby food, it's more nutritious and the servings are tiny, eat it slowly with a small spoon

keep in mind that eating 'unhealthy' is better than not eating at all, if your options are 'get takeaway' or 'skip a meal' you're better off with the takeaway, being malnourished is a whole lot more dangerous than gaining weight, and this is coming from my actual dietitian

also is your stomach always acting up? feeling nauseous? you gotta run to the toilet all the time? anxiety can play havoc with your guts REAL bad, if you can't link your tummy upsets to anything you're eating and your doctor can't find anything physically wrong, it could be anxiety, try to eat more fibre if you can (bread, fruit, oats etc) and drink lots of water

actually just do that anyway, drink lots of water, keep a bottle nearby and try to drink from it whenever you think about it, dehydration makes everything feel worse

if you struggle to shower regularly and feel really gross, MOOD, but also keep baby wipes nearby when you use the toilet, give your face, your pits and your bits a wipe down before you go to bed, your arms and legs too if you feel up to it, and change your underwear while you're at it, I stg you'll feel fresh as hell

also use roll on deodorant, spray on can build up a waxy residue after a while if you aren't showering (and it takes a heap of scrubbing to clear up)

if you struggle to brush your teeth, a mouthwash rinse before bed or even just swishing some water around your mouth after eating is better than nothing

don't make yourself do all the dishes in one go, you are allowed to clean just one thing at a time as you need it, but if you give everything a quick rinse before you leave it in the sink, it'll make it easier to clean later

turn big tasks into little tasks, whole room is a pile of clothes? you keep telling yourself you need to clean it all but you get overwhelmed immediately? you don't have to clean it all in one go

set yourself a smaller task like 'I'm gonna get the clothes off the floor', maybe a bunch of them end up on your chair or your desk, but some of them could end up in the laundry or put away, and some is better than none! (also being able to see your floor again feels so good omg)

forcing yourself to do a big job is just gonna make you put it off and off and off, doing just a little bit of it is better than doing none of it

and there's this awesome little thing called Body Doubling, where just having someone be present with you while you do a task makes the task easier to do, even if they aren't helping, I've found it works even over an online call

if you have a friend who also needs to get a chore done, set up a digital body double date and do your chores together while on a call, and then you get to show off your progress to your friend and you can jazz each other up as you go! I've cleaned my room the last three times this way

we get taught that you have to do things in a certain way when really we don't, we don't have to do a good job at everything all the time, we can do just enough little jobs to survive, your house doesn't have to be picture perfect, your kitchen and bathrooms don't have to be spotless, the goal shouldn't be perfection, it just has to be enough

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly

this is like, my favourite fucking quote and I tell it to myself constantly

not all of this will help everyone, but some of it might help someone, it's always worth a try, don't keep forcing yourself to do things in a way that never works, think outside the box, tailor your environment to fit you in whatever way you can

the world is an ocean of bullshit sometimes and it's okay if you can't swim to shore, as long as you can tread water and keep your head afloat, that's all you should ask of yourself

[oi-loverboy]

From prompt list 2 can you do 32, 21, and 4 with Erwin pretty please?

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Prompt List

Hello! Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy! I was actually excited for this idea lol

32. “You left me behind to die”

21. “Am I not important to you anymore?”

4. “I don’t care I’m not letting you get up until I know that you’re one hundred percent better again.”

TW: angst, mentions of blood and injuries, language

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You let out a sigh of relief when you caught glimpse of the headquarters, your body slumped over on top of your horse as you groaned out in pain. Twigs and leaves were stuck in your hair, scrapes all over your arms thanks to your body scratching against the thick wood of a tree that shredded through your uniform, you had dry blood on your face from being punched in the middle of your face which lead to a busted lip and a bloody nose. Your body ached, a large bruise on your ribs and on your back making it painful to even breathe. Your horse halted in front of the stables, a whine leaving your lips as you slid down slowly almost falling to your knees from how weak you felt. Eren and Jean quickly run to you, worried eyes scanning over the damage on your body.

“Y/N, you made it back. We’re so sorry we left you stranded, we’re just so happy you’re back,” Jean speaks, too scared to touch you.

With a small nod, you limped away from the group ignoring the calls of the worried cadets, your only mission at this moment was to make it to your room. The pain was overwhelming, tears pricking at the back of your eyes as you thought about the situation and the pain spreading throughout your body. Before you knew it, your knees buckled under your weight, your knees harshly hitting the ground. You clenched your fist, holding in any emotion. You were slightly alarmed at the sound of rapid footsteps getting closer to you, your vision blurry as you stared at the floor.

“Oh darling you’re here, come on let me take care of you,” you heard Erwin’s voice, seeing his shoe clad feet as he stood in front of you. He slowly leaned down to the floor, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Oh go fuck yourself, Erwin,” you seethed, your jaw tightening as you shrugged his hand off. You leaned back against your calves, a sigh escaping your lips as you stared at the ceiling. You slowly tried to lift yourself up ignoring Erwin’s pleads to let him help you.

“Look I’m sorry, I didn’t have an exact plan at that moment and I knew you could make it back. You’re strong enough,” Erwin explained, desperate eyes trying to catch your gaze.

“For fucks sakes, you left me behind to die. You saw the way I was treated and you did nothing. I barely even had time to use my ODM gear. The goddamn bastard punched me straight on my nose and all you did was stand there and watch. You saw me lose my grip from the tree and you watched me fall, you watched me try to get a grip before I fell to my death. I’m lucky I reacted quick enough to soften the blow. To make matters even worse you told the cadets to fall out, you left me laying there just because you were afraid,” You speak quickly, stepping towards him as you looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Am I not important to you anymore?”

“What? Of course you are Y/N. I made sure you made it down safely, I didn’t have a quick reaction but I was keeping watch on you. I knew you would have reacted quick enough and I’m sorry that I left you but if I would have stayed then I would have risked the lives of the scouts. I know you risked yours and it pained me to know that I was sacrificing you but deep inside of me I knew you would make it, I knew you would be ok. I know I could have done more but I have it handled now, I sent Levi and a few soldiers to go finish what was started for your sake,” Erwin quickly explains, grabbing your hands in his as he gently pulled you towards him.

Scoffing, you pulled your hands away from his as you continued to walk down the hallway to your room. As much as your legs wanted to give out on you, you felt the need to get away from him.

Sighing, Erwin followed behind you as he took long steps. He grabbed your hand, pulling on it until you fell against his chest. A Yelp leaving your lips as your cheek pressed against his broad chest. You pulled back from him, the sudden movement making you dizzy and making you slightly stumble. You placed your hand against the wall to keep yourself steady, eyes slightly wide as you stared at the wall opposite from you.

“Come in darling, stop fighting me and let’s go get you cleaned up. I promise I will make leave you alone if you want me to but please let me just take care of you,” Erwin pleading resting his hand on your shoulder.

With no motivation to fight him off and too exhausted and weak from the injuries and the long day, you let out a sigh before slowly nodding your head. Erwin did take great care of you, placing your uniform in the trash since it was ripped, starting the shower for you to rinse off the dirt and blood before shutting the shower off before filling the bath tub with warm water allowing you to sit down. You sat down with your knees against your chest, resting your chin atop of them. You only stretched your heavy limbs out when Erwin asked you to let him scrub you down, sad eyes watching your every move. You tilted your head forward, placing your forehead against your knees as you felt Erwin’s fingers brush against your chair as he washed it. He would cup water into his hands and drop it over your head to rinse off the shampoo and conditioner. After a few more minutes of Erwin making sure you were clean, you found yourself standing in the middle of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body. Erwin allowed you to brush your teeth as he searched for your pajamas which consisted of a pair of underwear and one of his T-shirt’s. Once you were dressed he brushed through your hair knowing how painful it was for you to move at the moment, his gentle movements making your eyes close. He laid you down in bed, tucking you in and placing a soft kiss in your forehead before he laid down beside you to which you responded to by turning your back towards him. Your eyelids grew heavy, sleep consuming you.

The next morning you woke up, a groan leaving your lips as you turned to your back. The ache in your body was overwhelming, the pain making it seem like it was hard to breathe. Slowly opening your eyes, you sighed trying to encourage yourself to get out of bed. After a few minutes of trying to ignore the pain and pushing your body up, you stood in front of the mirror looking at your reflection. You were clean but there were bruises and scratches littering your body, your lips were busted and there was a bruise forming around your nose. You lifted your shirt up to reveal a huge bruise spreading from your ribs to your hip bone. Frowning you turned around, lifting your shirt up to reveal cuts in your back from the fall. You heard the door to the room open causing you to quickly whip your head towards it, allowing your shirt to drop. Erwin stood in the doorway, an eyebrow lifted as he scanned over your body. He closed his door with his foot, walking towards you with a tray in his hand containing your breakfast and a cup of tea.

“May I ask what you’re doing up?” He asks, placing the tray on a nearby table.

“Well I was going to start my day, commander,” you respond, a bit of anger laced in your voice.

“You’re not doing anything for the rest of the week Y/N, lay back down please,” he replies his hands already reaching for you as he gently pulls you towards the bed.

“But I’m fine. Plus, I doubt someone who left me for dead should worry about me, now if you excuse me I will like to start my day,” you reply, gently pulling back feeling too weak to actually fight him off.

“I don’t care I’m not letting you get up until I know that you’re one hundred percent better again.” Erwin mutters, pushing you back against the bed and adjusting your legs to place you in a comfortable position tucking you back in. “And for the record, I do care about you, way more than I could express it. I love you too much but sometimes I can’t be selfish, mostly as commander of a whole team.”